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I got dumped today because my boyfriend wants to become transgender
3 years ago · 5 · Stress, +8 · Explicit
556
2 months ago he came out to me saying that he has gender dysphoria and that it's a painful thing to go through. i can't understand it because something like this is very hard for me to understand as a straight female. i believed he was perfect in every way except the way that this confession ruined everything for us. i couldn't accept it. it was really hard and i seriously made an effort to accept it. he said he loved me so much that he was willing to suppress his dysphoria for me. i believed it until he started lying to me over and over as time went on. he hid the transitioning drugs from me and took them in secret for a month. i was extremely heartbroken after he said he wouldn't transition for me. eventually it was becoming too stressful for him to admit to the many things he was hiding behind his back, like his fetish for women's clothes. and then because he was constantly hiding things and lying to me, we were having conflicts more frequently. i eventually decided to end the relationship with him in the kindest way possible with the intention that we could still be friends and that i'd support him -- but as a result, he cried for days, got drunk and begged for another chance to make things work. we still held onto the belief that maybe we can make this relationship work and so i decided to give him a second chance to prove himself that he can live with this mild dysphoria given if he can get signed and stamped letters from both his therapists explaining that he is capable of staying as a male in this relationship. i guess it was just wishful thinking because i really wanted our relationship to work. but i guess because of the way that my sexual orientation couldn't change just as much as his dysphoria couldn't stop growing, our relationship had to end. our conflicts inflicted an insane amount of stress onto him to the point that he'd feel like puking. he made the realization that he can't be with me because the stress from lying to me ends up coming back to him every time in the form of a very serious confrontation and then an argument. he called me and dumped me over the phone today saying that he genuinely wants to give it a try being transgender. of course, i was horrified because this is something i never wanted, personally. but this time, i could not allow us to stay as friends and i chose to cut off all connections with him. i gave him a second chance then but this time it felt like he crushed our last strand of hope. i should've known all along that this was never going to end well. we had a relationship of over 2 years and it ended so bitterly. i don't know how to move on from this. i don't know if i ever will. i'm just in tears for being so naive too. i would love to hear your opinion. i need all the advice i can get because i'm just so lost and i'm in so much pain.
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it's for the best. i've had several friends who deal with gender dysphoria, it's something that can push a person to the brink of suicide. you were lucky to even find someone who was willing to swallow that pain because they loved you so much. but if you aren't willing to support her transition, then she needs to find someone else who will support her and love her for the person she is. it seemed like you enjoyed the way she made you feel and the good times you had together, but you weren't willing to realize the pain she was going through and weren't willing to support her even though she was putting up with so much for the sake of you and your relationship. i hope that both of you can move on from this and i hope that in future relationships you won't force someone into a painful situation just because you want to stay in a relationship with them.
ReplyLet him be the way he wanted for himself. You cant push him to be straight of his heart wants to be differently. I think u need to talk to ur friends and family about that matter for u to continue ur own life without him.
Replyit’s extremely selfish to expect someone to not be themself just so they can be with you. Sorry but you can’t possibly love someone if you would ask them to do that.
ReplyThe only advice i could give to you is that..You just let him go...that way you will not get hurt in future...and right now it will hurt inside..but it will be good for you.
Try to recover form it. and move on but dont carry this pain and anger into future...cause if you do then it will affect your next relationship.
Just know that he was not meant for you..there is still someone out there who is your true soulmate..and he was just one of life experience....that's all.
Hope you feel good
ReplyDid you really want to stay with him? To me it seems like if the relationship stayed, you would have yet another used and abused trans widow (there's a whole website dedicated to this subject) trying to understand wtf happened to her life.
Don't feel sad. You deserve better.
Reply