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You thought I forgot about you? Moved on so quickly? Perhaps even found someone 'new' and a 'better' individual to hang around with? Don't you ever dare to think so. No matter how absurd, dorky or relatable our relationship was, you still managed to find a way to drive me off a cliff, abandon the foundation we built, lose your faith in me and I had trusted you, I always did. Yet--you were the one who inched me closer towards the depths of coldness, brutality and harshness of the world in isolation and depression.
You were controlling. To the point where I could no longer steer the wheel, I wasn't in the drivers seat anymore. In fact, you took over. You took a toll of my emotions, never asked me how I felt, never allowed me to open up because God forbid all I ever had to do was follow the advice of 'don't stress about it' and I would think to myself, "wow I never had anybody ever tell me that before". I never got a chance to let you know that the false facade of your nurturing words never soared through my mind because I never found them comforting. However, when you would come to me, ask me for advice or warmth, I would sit there like an electric heater and absorb all the energy and double it back to you, because I had cared for you.
I still remember the time we went out together with a few friends and you had seemed to be the one who stayed by me when I had felt nervousness rush over me, I acknowledged that, I acknowledged you. Ensuring I wasn't feeling uncomfortable and you helped me break out of my comfort zone and together we unraveled my first foreign meal of the night.
But I hate it.
I hate that every time I see you, smiles are beaming everywhere. I hate that you have already found a new best friend, it is odd that she looks a bit like me or maybe I am over analysing it.
The truth was, I missed you. Deeply. I still think about you and all the things that went wrong. All because of a simple miscommunication. It could have been resolved ages ago but I now know that in my heart, I have forgave you. I am unsure if you hold a slight belief in me but by the looks of it, you still dislike me, I'm still blocked by you on numerous social media platforms. Thanks for raising my non-existent self-esteem.
Now that I conclude this, I would just like to say...thank you for being in my life and teaching me lessons, valuable ones that I won't seem to ever forget. You have taught me that all you could ever do was gossip behind people, see the bad in things and stay narrow-minded. Oh no! How could I ever say that to my once best friend? I could care less now, you made me anxious, you hurt my feelings and I cried because of you. Yet, you couldn't give 2 shits. I had to apologise first, not that I did not mind but it did indicate to me, your true colours.
I have understood that this part of my life has closed and a new door will open soon. It will all be in the past and I will find a new organism in this vast 7 billion+ populated world. Maybe I will find someone else, maybe I am already with a new friend, but now, to me you're a person that I used to know.
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Hey friend
I can totally understand how you are feeling right now because every word you said i am also going through the same i had a best friend whom i wanted to be friends forever but one day someone came in our life and he started liking that person and started to avoid and dislike me for no reason but soon i also started avoiding him because i never felt good around people who doesn't like my presence around them but i wanted him so badly but he never cared he left me like there was no relation between us i tried many times to get him , i helped him in many ways but still he did nothing now i feel like he shouldn't have came in my life because i still think about him but he has blocked me everywhere
Now i have started to end all my friendships because of him because all my friends are also his friends but still i want everything to be as it was before but now nothing can happen i want to get all the memories with him , his face everything to get out of my mind but ....
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