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Soo I have this co worker who I’ve had a good friendship with at my job. He recently got cheated on and is 31! I’m 22. So to be honest I’ve always seen him as like an uncle or older brother. But lately we bump into each other a couple times and before I went to break we bumped and he says “what? You want a hug” and I’m like nooooo🤣🤣🤣 and then when I was going on my break this girl (my other co worker jokingly said) boiii she ain’t giving u no hug😂😂😂And he Said “I want more than a hug” and I was like 😨😐 i was like nah I’m trying to live. “Your wife is crazy” and he just stood quiet. Then today he said (my name) you need to be more confident and i was like oh”that was random” and he was like yea I notice things about you. Like sooo out of nowhere I kept my words short because idk Like he wanted to say more things but he held himself back. & lately he’s been remarking our age difference like mannn I’m 31 years old and I’m like YUPP. Plus I’m sure he would just want a 1 night stand cause what else could he possibly want. But those comments just got me thinking like why ? You get me. Why even make them.(he’s married) and right now just argues with his wife. He said she cheated & he’s still mad.
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This called sexual harassment in the work place, it's up to you what to do but personally I wouldn't be comfortable with him talking to me like that at work and would ask him to stop or make a complaint about him.
ReplyYou’re right, I’ll try to tell him off. I never really thought about that being harassment but it is. Those comments should never be made. I will definitely put a tip to this. Thank you!
ReplyHe mightve got the wrong impression with you two bumping into each other multiple times. Yeah sounds like he's trying to size you up for a fling. I'd keep my communication to a minimum with him. If he tries anything else make it clear you're not interested. Then if he continues report him for harassment. Sounds like he wants cheating revenge with someone.
ReplyI will definitely make it clear that I’m not interested ! Thank you for reading!
ReplyYou're welcome :-)
ReplyHi there, I agree that the workplace is not the right environment to make such comments. I mean if this whole situation with his wife is fresh, then I think he shouldn't be making those remarks-what is his objective? If I was in this situation, I would be afraid that I would just serve as a distraction, a short way to ease the pain or even as a revenge on the wife. I mean, the situation he has with his wife is messy and if he values you as a friend, he should not be trying to drag you in the middle of this(as you might get hurt and it may possibly ruin the atmosphere in the work). I agree, that you should talk with him about the matter and ask him to stop as this is making you uncomfortable. Als I think his actions are quite selfish, he doesn't have a clean slate, he is in a messy situation right now and it seems as he is trying to use you as a remedy. But I might be wrong and he might be a great guy, yet his actions here are bad.
ReplyI specifically told him if your are looking to cheat on your wife back, then your marriage will not work out. If you guys focus on making it better and leaving all that behind, then go for it. But he has even mentioned going on dating apps it’s like he gave up on his marriage. He told me today his wife said she doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
ReplySounds like he wants to hook-up with you and he's testing the water to see if you would go for it. I'm a married man and I'll admit temptation is hard to resist - especially younger women. Not to say that you are tempting him but guys that are married and/or older learn to appreciate the beauty of younger women. He's probably always found you attractive and is probably using his marital issues as justification to pursue you or other women. Personally, if my wife cheated on me, I wouldn't want other people to know. How and why do you know that information? That is not something you should volunteer to a coworker unless you're very close. Is it possible that he's using the affair as sympathy? Even possible he completely made it up.
ReplyYou’re right, he’s testing the waters. Smh I’m not interested and I will make sure he knows that. He shared it with everyone when it happened because he called off a couple days and someone asked him if he was “okay” and he started crying and spilled the beans. But thank you for taking your time to read my post(:
ReplyGood luck dealing with him. I suppose some people like attention and he sounds like that type of person. I hope you can forgive him though. If he's a decent guy at all, he may look back and realize how wrong he was to make a pass at you. Being cheated on is painful and sometimes people don't know how to deal with being hurt. That doesn't mean you should be so sympathetic that you sleep with him.
ReplyI hope so too, because he was always good to me. But Recently he’s made those comments and that kinda threw me off. But I won’t let it get to me and I’ll put a stop to it.
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