Ranting and rambling

I see that at least 2 people online posted their vacation pics . I've so longed for a vacation because Ive not had a get away in years...I mean alot of years due to the fact my family does not know how to keep money but me and they never did I'm not sure if they will. Taking my money not paying it back. Also it doesn't help seeing at least one of those people online has a best friend they do stuff with and I don't. I have never belonged here anywhereas long as I've lived here and that's about half my life. People are so cold cruel using snobby stuck up. Sure if you got a use people will talk to you...and suck up basically to continue. I see it in my family's acquaintances. I saw it in multiple work places. Yet no real friends or even someone to do things with nada. I mean I've met alot of people since I've been here. It's been a pretty bitter experience because Ive encountered so many rude bitter people. You can't be nice youll be treated badly and took advantage of as I have so many times. What good is social media and relatives if we don't talk. Wtf I mean hello. I exist. Do I not matter??? I know I do but this place is just so snobby and cold. Even my relatives are. Last I checked they were raised dirt poor. If my family hadn't made me their personal slave and took my money I worked and been so controlling and manipulative I could've probably had life better. I wouldn't have stayed here I know that. I mean on top of that I've had my throat cut in the workplace so much thrown under the bus when it didn't get anybody anywhere. I worked in the most toxic bitter place as my first long term job because I was too afraid to change and the world I always had bad ANXIETY thanks to verbal abuse and bullies in school so it didn't make work any better they thought they could treat any old way because I was too nice to people I just wanted to get along with everyone do my job n go home. Sadly nice doesn't get you anywhere but being used mostly and abused by bullies in the workplace and harassed and ran over. Call you names if you don't do their work and they're the ones being lazy. Even happened to my aunt. She had a nervous breakdown...if she wasn't faking .. I've had multiple undocumented or unreported. My parents and co-workers provoked them. I mean all I want is and was to be happy in life. People interfered even in me trying to take a girl out for good time sour old mfer her own dad because we all worked at the same place she was an adult too. He said if you go to the fair with him youre in trouble. WTF???? That's all I wanted to do nothing more but no he still interfered sour old goat. What was wrong with that anyway? I never did anything bad to any of them . Why'd people sabatage my life? I didn't deserve this stuff😢😭it hurts.

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