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I've had a crush on one of my classmates/ dormmates (so we are technichally safe to be around each other) for a little over a month. About 2 weeks in I found out he liked a girl (I'm afab genderqueer, but more feminine presenting lately) and I had a day of sorrow then seemed to just continue on with my crush. This is when the "cycle" as my other friend calls it started.
Basically, around him I'm on cloud nine, laughing at his jokes and being around for witty remarks. He likes to poke fun at me and I do so in return. Overall, he's everything I needed in a crush. We like the same stuff and have the same friend group and everything. Then, the moment I'm gone I either am feeling happy about talking with him, or angry at myself for liking him.
He got rejected by his crush ~1 week ago, so it's not impossible for him to like me. Just not something I would hold my breath for. This makes me angry because I hate how silly I feel and how I keep getting my hopes up for it to come crashing down.
I had a bad experience with my last boyfriend, so I am hesitant to even mention my crush to anyone besides the one friend and my family, so it's not like I'm being too optomistic. But I just don't know what to do. I don't want to ask him out since he is still getting over his crush. I also have severe social anxiety, so I am not one to make anything too obvious.
I would love any advice y'all have. Like, is this feeling of ups and downs normal? Should I just give up? Can I even since it didn't stop when I learned he liked someone else?
Thanks for reading.
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