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My beautiful, poetic and suicidal ex-fiancé,
I watched the sunrise from my porch and inhaled the crisp vibrancy of golden-red hues under our Catalonian sky. I began to cry again. This isn't the Mediterranean. You aren't here and you will never come back.
A farewell could have helped or devastated. Instead I learned rumors. A murmur. So devastation it is. You are missing the foliage. There is an endless beauty in this alien world we hobble through daily; I must continue to appreciate these moments alone.
For now I rest in these obscure mountains to which you brought us, now a well-seasoned transplant. Its incredibly beautiful, yet there's no trace of home anymore. I float 'round this tiny town like a ghost with nothing to say, fighting panic like it's my superpower.
I should have fought. I should have screamed in your face. I should have held your hand. I should have done anything more than what I did. I should have known things weren't going well for you, though it had been over a year...
Though retroactive I am sincerely grateful for you answering my call, explaining your reality, and staying calm when I was in a fury about you leaving silently.
I hope you find a renewed self, and that you fall in love with that person completely.
I hope that I can overcome every obstacle and find you again some day. I fully expect you to find someone new and beautiful before it can happen. Mi inspiración, I grow for you and for me. I love you forever. My hand has been forced, resigned to letting go. It's time to figure out how to exist again.
Even if it hurts-- even if we cannot recognize the other in a decade,
Let's play the long game.
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