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i've basically been free of self-harm for a year; i'm on antidepressants, i'm seeing a counselor, and i actually have group therapy sessions starting next week--i am generally okay, i'm not all that sad anymore, really. but i miss taking the blade to my skin, seeing the beads of blood gather. i miss the little ritual of cleaning myself up afterwards, stashing away my razor. my scars are fading and i miss them. it feels like i am losing a friend, something that was a part of my identity for years and i don't know how to cope. my scars used to be a badge of my bravery, a little signal and reminder that i had made it through my darkest days. i don't know how to cope with the fact that i can barely see them anymore and it's tearing me apart.
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The trouble with cutting is that it is addictive. It could be a good idea for you to see a therapist.
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