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My Story Is about PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM A MANBOY.
I've been in a relationship with a man since I was 15 and he was 23..My First real relationship 😑 I thought I was so much because I had a boyfriend out of school,he was so cool because his pants sagged and he had this gangster persona 😞 Looking back at the younger me knowing what I know now I would have told that girl to run. He would control my every move sometime make comments about the clothes I wore,called me all the times (I just thought that's what boyfriends do. (1 month into out relation/friendship) the fight begun and has not ceased all these years later. I got pregnant at 16 and started to open my eyes as I had to become a woman at a very young age 😞 He spent no time with me or my kid he changed no diapers was at no doctor appointments he did NOTHING 😂 Funny thing is he was always around but took no responsibility. Since 15 I've come out of pocket giving him hundred of dollars unknowingly to support his drug and liquor habits that would lead to the physical fights and arugements...Fast forward 21 years of age IVE MADE BIG ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN MY LIFE !!! Finished high school at 16 finished college at 18 work as a Medical Assistant and Gave birth to my second Child and NOTHING HAS CHANGED WITH THIS MANBOY....jobless house less & carless
No ambition to drive to become a better man to me and his kids 😞 I've become bitter now knowing what I wish I would have known all along when the signs were in my face the FACTS (THE CONTROL) I can't have friends guys or girls can't go out with out him tagging along I CANT LIVE MY OWN LIFE it's like he is envious of the person I'm becoming while he is still stuck in that chapter I met him in...always fights me when I branch out to Do Me always belittles me when I go outside of what he wants and do what I want for a change
I'm no longer that little girl who followed his every word I'm no longer going to allow him to disrespect me nor hold me back..I have a voice..I refuse to continue to settle for a man who refuses to better him self and walk beside me and not behind me...I can finally breath since I've been separating myself from his shadow..HE DOESNT LIKE IT... But who cares my happiness and my kids happiness means so much more....I can't stand to see my baby cry because he chooses to leave her and be with his friends and shows her little to no affection and she's dealt with that her whole little existence ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.. I'm TIRED!! I'm leaving no matter how much he begs or threatens my life and well being..
I KNOW IVE HAD MAJOR TYPOS BUT IM
ANGRY...that I allowed myself to endure this instead of walking away earlier (LOVE OR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS LOVE HELD ME IN CHAINS) but love doesn't draw blood or beat u in front of your child from birth..love doesn't leave scars that are still visible years later..love doesn't belittle and downgrade you
This is for all the fed up women
WALK AWAY no love is any greater than the love you have for yourself no matter how much he tells you no one will want you there is always a man who will love and accept your kids as his very own
I just needed to vent
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dear diary
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scars reopened
You never really know how bad you've been hurting until someone opens up that moment that started it all. The moment that you thought u had hidden and locked up...
Your post spoke to me I just found out my boyfriend fucked a guy ... So shock he's gay . But I'm 14 weeks pregnant and I wanna die but i can't . Never felt pain like this in my life . Never believed in love till I knew how much it could hurt
ReplyIt hurts in the beginning sweetie believe me it does..but once your baby is born you will see life in a WHOLE new light..that child will be your world and all you will care about until you get to the point of realizing that seed is all that matters 😄 It took me to have my kids to understand what I will and will not allow to happen to myself because they need me to be happy and healthy to provide a safe environment for them..😢 In the long run it will get better he is the one who will have to suffer I'll pray for you sweetie
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