SOLTITUDE

I am someone who truly likes solitude and spending time alone these days. All my exams are done and I am free from all work. I want to spend my time alone by watching dramas, web series, maybe watch YouTube videos to learn and explore new things and so on. But I have a sibling who wants to barge in whatever I do. I get it and I am not against that at all, in fact it is also good to spend quality time with family. But I can't do that ALL the time. Whatever I do, at the end of the day, I want my private and alone time where I can do things to keep my mental health satisfied for the day and I wish no one questions that. Now, talking about topics like this to my parents, they think I want too much freedom, and if I say stuff like, "I don't want to watch this drama with you sis! I wanna watch it alone and I like it that way." she says that I am an introvert (like it is some crime to be one and moreover she says it indirectly) and if I continue to behave like that, I won't have friends. And that is where she presses my anger buttons. I hate it when people say I don't have friends and crap like that. I am not a shy person really, I don't have many friends but I only have few true friends whom I can trust to my death which is what I want. But people consider being an extrovert as some good quality. And there is a fucking difference between an introvert and someone who is shy. Being an introvert means someone who energize themselves by being alone, shy people are someone who have difficulty in communicating freely with others. Every introvert need not be shy and every extrovert need not be talkative. Now, I had a fight with my sister. I was watching a series and she kept her face in front of my laptop just to piss me off, so I told her to go because I wanna watch it alone. I was saying it angrily (because sometimes I tend to say things in a serious tone) and then she started a fight saying you don't wanna spend time with your sis and you don't give me value and crap like that and then my mom came and just to extinguish some fire I said that if you wanna watch, come with a chair and properly sit and watch rather than sticking your face on the laptop screen. Instead of actually sitting with me and watching she decided to make things worse by saying I am here only for a short time and then I'll go and sleep. Sleep??!!? If you fucking wanted to watch, why not sit instead of fucking pissing me off and spoiling my mood!!?!? Then my mom said why can't you ( referring to me) be patient and allow her to watch it for a while? This went somewhere else and they started guilt-tripping me and I hate that. I am completely free and I WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME ALONE. Why do you have to question it every time? Doing this makes me hesitate to spend my alone time and that will accumulate and suffocate me. Since, it is quarantine and I can't physically meet my friends anyways, why not spend this time to enjoy myself? My sister knows how it feels to not have that solitude when needed but she herself behaves with me the other way round, not knowing how it feels to be in my shoes makes me mad at her. At least, I have internet and an outlet to let my feelings out, otherwise it would've been apeshit later.