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It is starting since I learn that you cannot be kind and expect people to be kind with you. You cannot build a friendship or relationship with you working on it all the time even though the other side praise you like are their savior. You cannot work too hard and expect people to see what you sacrifice just for the work that offer you nothing.
I lose a few friendships long ago. I try to understand from my side, I try to understand if I am the selfish one. then I realize that I am giving too much and expecting that they can feel my 'kindness' but instead I am giving them a space to suffocate me with their problem without listening mine. I am now still feeling hurt by some of them. To be precise two of them. These two leaving a scar in me till I cannot treasure a real friend and nearly making a same mistake like them. suffocating and being possessive of them. Luckily I realize my mistake and still can mended with few of my true friends. I am lucky, but the scar is still there. I forgive but never forget.
And I am jobless since 9 months ago. To be truth, I never thought that I am gonna rise again. I don't even know if I am going to looking for job anymore. it is not because of the work pressure. But after all I am going through to make a lot of things work. I am trying to understand why they telling a lies such as being takeover by other company but all they want is to put an ex employee from another fail branch. That makes me scared to find any jobs anymore. And I never get a drive to seek a job. And at this difficult time of pandemic. I become a recluse and useless.
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I know how you feel; I've been without work for over 6 months thanks to this "vile vortex", as I call it, that we're all in this 2020. Also I recently decided I am done being actively kind to people, people unfortunately people mistake kindness for weakness. And in a society full of hate coming down from our top leadership - being actively kind is like asking to be a doormat.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
As Christians, we are representatives of God, so we need to be an example of His character to the world. This means that when we experience "slaps on the cheek," instead of following the normal human reaction, which would be to respond in retaliation out of anger, we can take the high road and respond in love, choosing to forgive (Proverbs 19:11). Turning the other cheek does not mean letting people walk all over us; it means walking in forgiveness, not being vindictive, but respectful, letting things roll off. This prevents bitterness from growing within our own hearts (Hebrews 12:15). And when physically attacked, defend yourself and your loved ones.
To avoid being a doormat, establish healthy boundaries within your interpersonal relationships; learn that it is okay to say "no." We cannot have healthy relationships without healthy boundaries. If we cannot say "no," then we also cannot truly say "yes." When we allow ourselves to be a doormat for others, what we are really doing is enabling them to continue in their own irresponsibility or sins. This is selfish on our part, because it stems from our own desire to have others love or need us. Rather than letting them live and hopefully learn from their own experiences, we are compelled to attempt to rescue them from the consequences they deserve. This merely enables them to continue living the same way and doesn't cause them to need us as much as it causes them to use us—both are equally bad. Many times, an inability to say "no" is a sign of a doormat.
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