I used to be happy..

Most of my friends and people who know me see me as a happy person. Yeah, I am happy.. I mean used to.. I enjoy talking and laughing with my friends, family, and I love making new friends.. I also love giving advice especially when my friends are feeling down.. I don't want them to be sad, I want to share the positivity in me to them that there is always hope, there's always tomorrow and that we shouldn't be stuck in a moment. I want them to keep moving forward and fight. But, everything changes when this pandemic happened. I feel like this pandemic is taking away the joy in my heart. I am so stressed out with work, financial, worries have been piling up, and I'm starting to doubt myself. I wanted to open up to some friends but I'm afraid they might not understand me, I'm afraid of what they might say.. Words like "it's okay.." "everything will be all right" seem to not working on me, I don't find them comforting anymore.. I just want to be alone in a place, away from people, a quiet place, where I can only see mountains, seas, no houses. Just me and the nature. I want to take a break from everything, even just for a week so I can breathe, but I can't. I can't take a leave from work, especially during this time. I feel so empty, alone, and tired. I feel like I'm slowly losing my drive. I want a miracle.