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Currently having a breakdown so sorry in advance id nothing makes sense...
Idk what to do anymore idk why everything is always my fault when im the only one working....my father and brother both tell me im a lazy, irresponsible and that I wont make it alone....but im the only one working...before my dad even moved in with us it was my brother, 3cats, dog and me....I would buy 140 worth of groceries that would only last 3 days because my brother eats so fucking much and I would buy myself can goods.... literally would buy food for my brother then my animals and what ever I had left I saved...the can goods were for me because that was something my brother didn't touch...I dropped out of college because I couldn't focus on my studies and didn't want to waste money but instead my parents see it as a "I don't want to go to college" movement when really I don't want to be blamed for wasting money when I mentally can't focus because they always bother me to help them and then blame me for being "lazy" when I was to busy studying...I work my ass off at a Japanese clothing store which have super high standards even tho we we are in America and is something that Americans are use to, being as how in Japan they take pride in their work but also suffer the most mentally because of these high standards which I am exposed to in my job...which btw im a pre-diabetic and have almost passed out and have stressed my body out to the point where pain killers don't work at all...right now I had a fight with my dad because we live in a 1 bedroom apt and my brother took the bedroom so me and my dad share the living room...recently one of my cats started peeing anywhere that isn't a letterbox and I've been trying to figure out why since (as selfish as this sounds) I don't have the heart to re home one of them since my dog passed last year...but we had a fight on how I dont help him and he always gets super mad at me and nags me like I dont understand he is financially struggling...but its not my fault and I dont use any of his money at all...I use my own...but he gets mad when I play on my computer when all I have is my bed and computer across as my personal space...and covid has made it so hard to even remotely get fresh air and escape the prison im stuck in...I just don't know what to do anymore there are so many thoughts and so many more problems that stop me from being able to do what I gotta do...and hearing others like my counselor who tell me to just ignore them is so hard when your surrounded by ppl blaming you all the time...I always feel like I'm wrong and im the blame but I can't see why its my fault all the time...I sont fight back because I have to other options...ny is just to expense to be trying to find a place that excepts animals and I barely have friends...I guess the easiest thing to do is get rid of my 3 cats but...then ill really be alone...idk what to do...idk....im just so lost right now
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I'm sorry, I don't have any good advice. I can't imagine what you must feel like right now. I'm just here to say; Stay strong. You're never truly alone.
ReplyIt’s time to focus on yourself a little more. You don’t want to weigh yourself down so much and it seems like you get no peace. That’s not fair!
ReplyMaybe it would be easier if you had one cat. You are working so you should be able to pay board so try to find shared accommodation where you have your own room and can have a cat as well.
ReplyIn ny its to expensive and I'm a part timer so I don't work no more then 4 days a week max but most work 3
ReplyHow old is your brother? Where is your mom? Why are dad and brother not working? Why are you staying with them and not leaving? Cat could be under a lot of stress, or have a urinary tract infection or litter box is not being cleaned frequently enough.
ReplyI have 3 litter boxes all spread out from each other in places she usually pees in and I took her to the vet and they said she's fine and all three have been using the same litter and are cleaned as for stress she probably is but idk the cause all of a sudden...My brother is 23 and my mom is a hoarder
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