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I am 19 years old and I am in college.
I used to live in a dorm room but we all got kicked out due to COVID, and that meant I had to go back to my parent's house, and then when the semester ended I had to transfer to a nearby college and I had to end up being a commuter which is not living on campus.
Ever since i have been back to my parent's house, i am not able to do anything pretty much, i get accused of doing drugs when i want to go to my old college town and hang out with my college buddies and spend the night which i am not able to do because of him thinking i am going to do drugs or something which I don't do.
I am a very social person. and I need to be around people that care about me or at least act as they do, recently my dad has made it where I cant drive my car unless I am going to school, work or back to the house. which is making it where I cant hang out with my boyfriend anymore or do anything.
I just can stop crying, like I said I am very sociable, and when I am not around anyone i am just a big ball of emotions. When I am home I am not around my family because of the way I am treated and talked to. Not being around people is what i struggle with or being able to see my friends.
My depression has gotten worse these last few days, that i have thought about self-inflicting again and i don't plan going back to where i was two years ago and just am overthinking everything. like if my boyfriend loves me or if i even deserve to be alive. i can't really explain how i am feeling i am just so tired of making my boyfriend having to put up with me like this, or anyone.
But I just need advice. do I need to go to the doctor about depression, which i am terrified about, but is there anything i can do that would be better than the doctor, I try to watch funny videos or whatever i just feel like it's just getting worse, I really need help and advice..
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