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My grandma has just passed away and I'm having a really hard time accepting it. I'd never lost anyone close to me before, so her death hit really hard. I've been crying for days and I don't know what to do. I never even got the chance to say goodbye or to tell her I love her, though I'm sure she knew. I miss her. I wasn't prepared at all. It's not fair. I'm so angry at the hospital. First they gave her the wrong medication (twice!), then they messed up her surgery, then they gave her corona. When it was finally supposed to be over, she had two strokes and they had to put her to sleep with morphine. They killed her. A week or two before she passed away, she even told my mum that she regretted having the surgery. I hate the doctors and the people in the pharmacy who caused her death. I hate that she's gone and that I hadn't spoken to her in about a year. I'm so scared that I'll forget what she looked like or what her hugs felt like or what she sounded like. I hate that I wasn't very close to her. I want her back so bad. These have been the worst few days of my life. I can barely think of anything else. She's never going to be at my wedding, I'll never be able to talk to her again, I'll never the chance to come out to her, she never even knew I have a girlfriend. I would give anything to just have one more conversation with her. I'm currently debating on going to the cremation. I don't want to see her like that. It'll be the only way I'll be able to see her in my memories.
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Thanks for sharing your story; it helps us remember how fragile life is and that we should always have compassion; you have our sympathies.
Hold on to your best memories of her; pray for her peace now that's no longer suffering in this world. And give yourself some time to grieve her loss; it's important. Perhaps someday you can inspire your son or daughter with a story about her.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Replymy grandma passed away three years ago and everyday i think about her, it’s still in my heart. the pain, the memories, the cold absence that flows through the room.
when my grandma first passed away i was also afraid that later on, i’ll forget her features:( i cried every single night. but somehow, she was never forgotten in my world.
but you should go to the ceremony🤍 it’s the last time you’ll get to see her. it’s be the last memories of her. with my grandma when she passed away, at the funeral i sat next to her, while she was in the casket. it made me so sad that one minute she was alive and then next she was gone...
this doesn’t help much at all but it’s something i can relate to you. stay strong love.
ReplyGrief is a process. Youll bounce around all the steps and maybe even feel better for awhile only for it to unexpectedly take hold again. It’s hard and there’s no worthy advice out there to truly help you. The most you can do is let yourself process it. And prioritize what you think about. You’re talking about it and writing about it. Something that’s so cathartic for people. You’re taking steps in the right direction. Just keep holding on. You’ll see her again. And she’ll tell you with a smile on her face she was always watching, that’s she never truly left you.
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