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Ok I tend to overthink a lot but really for absolutely nothing, the thing is I know I should and what I think is not true but I can't stop.
I scan't stop worrying about everything, I'm soo worried about my future, about my brothers, about financial difficulties of my mother, I don't know how can I help her, about my father mental health. I kinda have to be an adult, a friend or whatever right now to support my father, my mother and a parent for my brothers while being a student and do my stuff and at the same time trying to improve myself in things I like.
I think I'm stressing myself too much but I don't know how to dealt with that.
I used to pretend I was never stressed and everything was fine before but now that I'm well aware I don't know what to do... I had a panic attack ( i think ) last night, that's my second one and I really don't know how to deal with it.
I'm writing here too because I'm trying not to harm myself just to feel something, I can't talk about that to anyone because this is something I'm not comfortable with, but I'm.. i don't know... I feel like I'm feeling too much things but at the same time nothing.. I don't know what to do...
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It's a tough bubble you're in and it's very hard to suggest what you should do. However, just understand with time comes new variables through events. Keep hangin' in there and hopefully you'll see a moment where you can finally do something that you find logically sound and concrete enough to actually see its implementation. I won't say it'll get easier, but I know a moment will come. Just watch out for it.
ReplyDon't listen to any other judgement about self harm. That is perfectly okay to do if it's what gets YOU through the day/life. I've been there but it's kinda like training wheels. So for me, i would do it again if i felt like i had to, but there is just no personal need anymore. It's okay that you do that okay? No judgement here ;)
Now about you and your family.. Sometimes you have to TRUST that they can do some stuff on their own. THEY are YOUR parents; they should be looking out for YOU, not the other way around. That's not to say don't help them at all, because again I get it, we all need to support each other at times. Just don't let the levels of help be imbalanced between you and them. You said it yourself, you're a student so you have your own duties and obligations as well.
Basically, remember to PRIORITIZE. Are they helping you as much as you're helping them? Are there some things they can do on their own? Just take a 10 second moment to breathe in deeply and breathe out deeply. Don't even THINK about the future. That's what cause the anxiety, or atleast don't OVERthink it because that's also anxiety. You're focusing too long on a topic or issue.
Just remain in the present tense, stay in the "now" moment and try to make time for things that calm you; a bath, drawing, gaming, reading, anything you personally enjoy. It's okay, don't feel guilty 💚💜 if you sense that it's causing anxiety or other emotional harm, then just let it go for a second. Don't let your mind worry over it just yet. I hope this helps (: good luck, have a great rest of your day! ✨
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