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It's hard to still be in love with someone , and know that you HAVE to put distance between the two of you. I know he loves our son , and maybe he loves me too even , but he's put us in horrible predicaments that has traumatized our son , and I past words could even express. I'm a mother . My job is to protect our child even if , and when that means from his own father . I want to provide a safe , and healthy environment for him. The thought of continuing to raise him in that hell hole just gives me chills. The thought of knowing our son could turn out just like him has scared me enough to leave , and stand firm on my decision . I haven't seen him change . He was supposed to change , and he was supposed to set a better example for the children. Instead , he has fallen right back into his old habits hurting good people , and most importantly hurting his children emotionally . He has two other kids from a prior relationship , and I tried everything in my power to show them love , consistency , and affection , however I cannot sacrifice my own happiness , nor our sons , health , and sanity to stay in an environment like that . It sucks because I love them . I love them like their my own, but I can see his other son beginning to be like him . He hits his sister , and he pretty much is repeating everything he sees his dad doing. His son has no respect for women , but only because that's what his dad has exposed him to. I couldn't imagine being the reason for our son becoming an troubled adult because of the toxic environment we raised him in . It does affect them as an adult . I love my child's father more than he'd ever know , but I can't allow him to disrespect me in front of our son anymore , or abuse physically in front of our son anymore . I thought he'd change , but a zebras stripes will never disappear . It's hard to really piece together where to go from here as far as co parenting , but I truly in my heart don't believe he's mentally , nor emotionally prepared , or stable to be apart of our sons life right now . This put's me in the toughest position , because our son worships the ground he walks on . He's 3 . He doesn't fully understand what he should , and shouldn't be around, but I'm scared to let him mess up our child's chances as being a good man . The kids have already seen so much , and I can't help them , they have two of the most selfish parents I've ever met , BUT I tried to ... I can't save everyone , but I do however make it vocal how they aren't being treated as an priority , and are seeing things they shouldn't have to see and/or hear . It may not be my place , but I've been there for them for quite some time now , and I know that they are being affected . I hope that with time he'd seek therapy , or apply himself to getting some sort of professional help so that he can become the man , and example he SHOULD , and both need to be raise these children properly . All of them deserve better , and so do I . I will continue with this decision , and hope for better results.
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