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I was inlove 9 months ago.
But I choose to leave him because I think that was best for the both of us.
I'm still studying in college and I'm so busy with a lot of school works.
I love him so much.
Even just thinking that what if I lost him. My eyes can't bare to shed tears.
I can't imagine to live a life without him.
but when I failed a subject.
i cried
maybe i was depressed but i dont know what depress is. I just cried all thepain i felt when i receive the grade. it hard for me you know. i was the top in class in high school and then when i am in college i failed a subject. it hurts for me more than anyone think.
i am disappointed for myself.
and that thing triggered me to broke up with him.
i know that he will plead in me that we should not broke up or he would hope that after few days i will comeback to him. definitely i will come back to him. i always comeback to him because i love him more than he think. i just want to balance my feelings, not to pour so much love for him. but i cant.
and the idea comes that. i need to do something bad for him to stay away from me.
then here we are to my plan.
i met this one guy in the library he's cute and he likes me.
we had lunch together and know each other.
then i planned to used him to break up with my man. im so bad i know.
then i broke up with him and tell him that i had another man.
you know what as i write this i just felt how hurt and painful that was for him. and now as i am clicking this keyboard i cant help my tears to stop falling in my cheeks. my man my love i hurt him.
he beg for me to comeback to him that time but i was so numb. i dont know why.
and we talked in the phone call. it seems to be a closure for him. but it was a dumb doing of mine. because i felt nothing that time. but now everyday i mmiss him and im in pain that i hurt the man i love.
we never met even in our break up. the last time we've been together was happy it was our monthsary.
now
after we broke up.
just a month he met a new girl.
and he love her.
and when i beg for him to comeback to me
he never does.
he never will
i think time and situation deal everything. we never tal personally the wholetime. we're just chatting because the city has been lockdown because of covid 19 and i was not allowed to go out.
if only i was able to see him maybe that will not happen
now i am with nothing
im alone
studying
living my life without any lovelife.
i just think that is this what life is
choosing your dream
leaving your love
will give you s lifetime regretsss
i dont know if i can love someone again.
im sheena 20 yrs old. asking for comments
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ReplyIt sounds like a sad situation with a lot of pain for everyone. My suggestion would be to try to move on. Maybe get in touch with the guy from the library and build a new relationship? Your ex sounds happy with his new gf, so for his sake maybe you should leave them alone. At the same time it sounds like you have a lot of painful feelings and conflicts toward your ex. So maybe it's time to start over with someone completely new (doesn't have to be the library guy, it could be anyone). Start over and learn from your past to make the future better :)
ReplyThank You.<3
ReplyHi sheena!! i cant reveal my name but i just wanna tell u that rn im going thru kind of the same thing. thinking about my situation . well, many a times life challenges you and some times you dont know whether to accept them. it gets really sad and lonely during those times of distress. its sometimes the best choice to forget what happened in the past and move on. i know that its not easy and you may take time. of course i'm not forcing you to do so but i suggest you talk to a therapist or counseller.i also posted a poem on here called "GARDEN". if you'd like to, i'd recommend you read it. its about me loving a person so much but i cant get him. when you search up the topic "SAD AND LONELY" it comes up first or second on the list. i hope you find happiness and success in your life. her's a biiiiiiiiig bear hug 🤗byee take care
ReplyThank you so much<333
Reply