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Right after my marriage, I have started feeling that things are changing between me and my husband. We are losing the warmth and care that we had between us. We’ve dated for an year before we got married and that one year was like a fairy tale for us. We used to spend so much time together, work together, study together, cook together, he used to feed me, make me sleep like a baby.
Things have really changed now. We are not the same anymore. He is irritated most of the time, not wanting to listen to me. He is so busy with his work and other things during the day that he doesn’t even call me to ask how am I doing. One call at least I can expect right ?
This joint family setup in which I am living has made things for worse. We can’t do what we like, we can’t be cozy around the house. I can’t do anything for him as it would be embarrassing in front of the parents and the same for him.
We are so losing our essence. I feel really bad and disappointed.
Whenever I try to confront to him, he doesn’t realise that there is any problem. He is like, things are bound to change after marriage, we can’t be that teenage couple all the time. Yes I agree to that, but why to lose US.
I am really afraid that I might just lost us very soon. I’ll not be happy in this relationship then. He was so romantic before, and now, he is just like any other husband. Responsible and boring.
Most of the time he would come home drunk and sleep, and other days, he would be so tired to have a chat. I like a fool, keep waiting for him to be back so that I can finally spend time with him.
We don’t go out for dinner or for a drive anytime. There is no newly wedded couple stints between us. It’s like I feel we’ve been already married for 10 years or so and we’ve lost all freshness.
When I say something to him, he feels I am complaining all the time and I am overthinking. Is it true ? Please advise what should I do.
I feel I should move out of this house, start a new life with him somewhere else, just him and me. But would he be mature enough to understand this and leave his parents to settle with me ? I don’t think so.
He is so family bound. But in all this, he is losing us.
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He is taking you for granted. He sees that he put in the effort to court you and get you to the altar so now he thinks he doesn't have to do anything any more. Lots of men are like this. It actually takes hard work to keep a marriage going which it looks like you are ready to do, and he isn't. Tell him that you won't go on like this because you are growing apart. Suggest a date night once a week to spice things up a bit, and also tell him that you should both move out and get your own place.
ReplyThanks for the advise, so sweet of you 🌸
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