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I am not really sure where to start so I'll just talk about the things that I remember. My family is from a country in central america where the rate of poverty is really high. people here usually have to leave school in order to just get food on the table for the families. amdist a dwindling economy, a corrupt government, and a lot of crime, life is very simple for people here yet very hard at the same time. my grandma had to leave elementary school at the age of 7 to work. her mother was really sick and couldnt work any longer in order to sustain my grandma and her sister. my grandma never went back to school yet she established and grew a business that allowed for her to provide for her 4 children. life was not very easy for her and she had to work for what she wanted. for years, she was very bitter and cold. it wasn't until she began to go to church and accepted Jesus that her character changed. now that she is a senior, all of her kids grew up and left and no one lives with her. quarantine hit her hard and she became depressed from her loneliness, to the point where she was hallucinating and would stop eating and go to sleep at 6 pm to stop feeling lonely. they have a custom here to hire women from poor villages and have them work as maids. to help with her loneliness, she brought in the daughter of the woman who works for one of our relatives. i also travelled to stay with her for 6 months to keep her company. it looks like quarantine brought out her bitter side, as she can't have a conversation with the people she says "abandoned" her. the girl who works for her apparently has been getting the short end of the stick. she is 16, has a learning disorder, never went past the 1st grade, and very shy. i dont know why but i a part of myself in her. my grandma yells at her, calls her inept and incompetent, makes her sit in a little chair in the kitchen that is as old as i am, feeds her less than what everyone else eats, and just treats her in a way that i thought was not okay. my grandma justifies herself by saying that she needs to speak to her in that way because people like her dont understand otherwise. she syas this because there have been a lot of people that have worked for her that have stolen from her so she is very distrusting. which i understand. what i dont stand for is why she has to call the girl inept along with other insults. she says 16 is an age in which she is basically an adult. but i think the girl has a mental/learning disability so shes slow sometimes. she only has 3 shirts and 4 pants and 2 pairs of shoes. i cried to my the other night because i just felt so sad about how she was being treated. i have spoken up to my grandma about the girl's disability and how she should perhaps be more patient towards her. she doesnt want to understand. everytime i say something now, she says i am just a child and that i do not know anything and that what i have t say does not count because i have never had to deal with this. i am an adult, more than a few years older than the 16 year old girl. she has done things that have triggered my grandma but i still dont think she should be judged in the same way as someone who does not have a disability.
now, apparently my mom said something and my grandma yelled at me tonight, asking who's side am i on? family or the worker's side? how am i going to tell her to not yell at her employee? that i have come here to visit her with such an attitude.
i am so disappointed. to me, my grandma was so sweet and kind.
i dont recognize her.
i wanted to write this because i feel that maybe she is right. maybe i am nobody to tell her crap. maybe she does have to insult the girl. maybe i do actually no know anything.
but the more i think about this, the more i tear up. the more my heart feels wrong. and the more i just want to yell because i feel that this is such an injustice.
i spoke up in defense of someone else. i got told that what i had to say was wrong. but i cannot stand injustices.
my chest tightens and my skin burns. i want to run and fight at the same time.
i believe speaking up was the right choice. i have learned that family is not everything to me. I believe I owe it to my convictions and relationship with God to defend those that cannot speak up.
maybe im thinking about it in the wrong way. but i feel proud of myself. none of my relatives my age stand up for an injustice like that, even if its within our own family. we were taught to keep quite and smile.
i like being selfless and want to live a life for God in which I help people.
im proud of myself for standing up to my grandma but feel guilty because now she is going to send the girl who works here away. i thought she might have more stability here, more protection, a roof over her head, food everyday, and a clean bed to sleep on. but i talked to her and it looks like she has family that is close and can stay with. and now i think she might find more stabilty leaving so she doesnt get my grandma's daily round of insults.
i saw myself in her and i remembered how the words of others since i was younger have affected me; my mental health, my self image, my self value. i spoke up also because i didnt want the things that my grandma said to the girl to tarnish the way she viewed herself. you can get called useless, inept, and inadequate so many times before you start to belive that they are true.
i cant control everything. i cant control what will happen to the girl. but what i can control are my actions. i will pray for the girl and keep her in my heart.
thank you for reading this if you did. i know its messy but im sleep deprived and wanted to just type.
God bless you.
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Thanks be to God that the 16 year old girl can leave and be away from that nasty old woman. It is a pity that some people become so nasty when they get older. It is a shame too that this woman is your grandma and now you know her like this. She could be like this because she is at the start of dementia. If she has no one with her maybe you can visit her from time to time just to check up on her. I wish you all the best and God bless you.
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