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I'm a teenager in your average teenage relationship. You know all those cute romance movies you see of cute high school couples... yeah I have that, or at least I thought I did. I'm dating this guy and I up until this point had thought I had the greatest guy in the world. The sweetest and the most caring I could find. We've been dating for almost four months... I know not long but to me it's seemed like a good while. I'm in love with him. I'm in love with his smile, his laugh, his personality, and all the quirky little things he does. He's sometimes a little dumb and a little slow but he pays attention to detail. I told him once that my favorite candy was those milkyway chocolates. On our first date he arrived 15 minutes late and when he arrived he apologized but said "I know I'm a little late, and sorry isn't going to fix it, but you know what'll make it better?...Chocolate!" He proceeded to pull out 30 pieces of these mini milky way chocolates out of his pocket. Some of them were melted and some of them were squished but he had this goofy grin on his face and from that moment on I knew I was in love with him. Everything has been going relativley well and I've been so happy with him. We started dating August 9 of this year. Remember that date because it's important for the story. We met June 18, over instagram where he responded to my instagram story asking for my number and from that day forward we started talking. I don't remember exactly but within the time period of July to August 2nd I met him. I thought it went really well and he seemed interested in me. He told me he really really liked me, and so August 9 he asked me to be his girlfriend. He didn't ask me out in the most romantic way...he did it over text, but I didn't mind because I really liked him. Fast forward to today I was hanging out with my really good friends and we were talking about relationships. I told my friend about my boyfriend and she searched him up on instagram. It turns out that she had previously talked to him in the past. Specifically August 7. This was 2 days before he asked me out. I read their messages and he was basically flirting with her. He was asking her for her number and asking if she wanted to meet up on the first day of school. Turns out, he wasn't my friends type and she rejected him and told him no. At this point I feel just betrayed and so sad. How could he ask me on a date and tell me he really liked me and wanted something more and then just two days before he actually asked me to be his girlfriend text another girl? Please help? I don't know what to do and I'm really upset.
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Why hello! My name is Alex, I am 16, and I know a thing or 2 about a thing or 2 because I've seen a thing or 2. If he was talking to your best friend 2 days before the 2 of you got together, then yes I see that as a little suspicious myself. But, is that the only thing you see wrong with him as a person? During the 4 months that the 2 of you were/have been together, did you fall for him? When I say fall for him I mean flat on your face fall for him? If you did and the both or you are still head over heels for each other, don't let those 2 days take over your relationship. I've done the same thing, it's just how guys are. Guys like to talk to several women at the same time so that way if their top choice rejects them, then they have their second best to go to. Now you're probably thinking, that isn't better, and you are correct on that. But, it was fate that brought the 2 of you lovebird teens together, so why let it get the best of your relationship. The 2 of you are happy, and hopefully will be happy in the time that passes, so I have an answer for you.
Don't let things from the past define your future, as long as the 2 of you are still crazy for each other, it's not a problem. But if anything suspicious starts to happen, ask to check his phone as a loyalty test. If he has nothing to hide, then he should give you his phone with ease.
I hope this helps!
ReplyBy the way, I am a female, so when I say about me doing the same thing, I mean that from your situation because I have been in your shoes before. I have also seen guys do this to girls and it really is messed up. But follow your heart, and it will take you far :)
ReplyHey :). Don't stress over it the best thing you can do is talk to him. Maybe he just thought you guys were talking and he had his options open that sounds mean but a lot of people do it it's a normal thing to do it's like a talking stage. If he told you he was only talking to you before asking you out that's a red flag, but if he told you he was talking to others or didn't make it clear maybe it was a misunderstanding? I understand how you feel though because that can seem pretty upsetting but all you need to do is really talk it out you should talk in person though about it. If/when you do talk to him ask him if he was talking to others before officially asking you out and making things exclusive. If he says no then ask him why he's lying but if he says yes just ask him why he didn't tell you. It's all about communication, trust, honesty, respect, and love. If it's a misunderstanding he just needs to communicate with you more but just tell him how you feel. If he's rude about it It's your decision to drop him but look out for red flags! Just don't stress over it though always remember to communicate first before putting your thoughts in place 100%. Just sit down drink some warm hot chocolate, tea, or whatever you like and watch some Netflix or YouTube and just ask to talk to him in person or meet up or something you don't have to tell him what it's about. xoxo.
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