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hello, my name is Fin. I'm a 14 year old freshman. I have recently decided to go transgender (female to male, but i have not had the surgery yet, but i plan to when im 18) i have been diagnose with severe depression scince i was twelve, though i have not hurt myself yet, as well as Anxiety, though im sure most everyone has it these days. i was sexually abused by my older brother from the ages of two to six. just last night i had flashbacks that i could feel as if it were really happening. i could remember the way he touched me, the way he made me touch him... during this i couldnt stop crying. and at this time my brother told me that he would not be the one getting in trouble if i told someone but rather i would be the one getting in trouble. i was too young to understand it was the other way around. there is this shed where he would do things to me in, if he went to bring me outside because i just wanted to play because i wasnt allowed to play outside on my own. i still avoid that shed to this day. my neighbor now has fixed up that small shed and uses it for a variety of things. i cant stop thinking about all of this stuff that has happened. and when i tried to talk to my mother and father and they didnt understand... if there is anyone who might be able to relate and talk to me about this, i would greatly enjoy it. thank you for checking in one what i had to say.
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I won't be able to relate it but I've heard stories of victims of sexual abuse. All in all, there's only one thing to say. That it's not your fault. Yes this trauma causes serious mental illness which needs medication. But if you develop your mental stability you can avoid getting into more trouble when sub thoughts arises. It's unimaginable how you endured this but don't let any bit of that nasty brother's act affect your life in way you can never repair. Why don't you consult online therapist? And please if possible report this to police or give him the punishment. No one has rights to spoil your life with their nasty desires and things you're going through now is all because humanity failed and unfortunately you became it's prey. Tell your parents, if not in person then write them a letter. But let them know what that beast did to you. If they care about you they'll give efforts to understand. Be courageous. You've done nothing wrong so why would you get this traumatic life long punishment? Dont be harsh on your self. When you feel anxious with those flashbacks then divert your mind or develop a hobby. Do something so that you suppress that. Slowly it'll fade. Good luck!!
ReplyHiiiiii Fin :3
*whispers*
i love u :3
k byeeee
*disappears*
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