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For the 19 years of my life, I learned that I have starved the most for affection, appreciation, love, and warmth. Before meeting you, I was in a relationship with this guy whom I thought would be my first relationship and the last.I was giving all I could into this relationship, I was working so hard to make this relationship work because I thought relationships were all like this. Eventually, I realized that this relationship has already died, I was tired from making it bloom again like the first time I got into it. It got to the point which it is very abusive to me and I cried every night as I was always at fault no matter how much apologies I have made, he always made me felt like I was nothing and no way near to anyone outside there. I broke up with him and decided to live life as a sole person as I don't think relationships are meant for me anymore. Then I met you, a person who I thought was just a pastime. Instead, you became a big part of my life. We joked and we cried and we struggled together, as friends.I was there as your friend, I saw you dated and broke up with girls and I have seen you on your worst.I have seen how they treated you and I wished I had the courage to tell you that I didn't want to be just friends but I want to be more than that but somehow I lose that courage always as I was never near to your ex's types or even your type in girls.I hated myself so much to the point where I feel like I should not involve myself in relationships. We called ourselves husbands and wives,I really meant about becoming your wife and I hope you know.In anyways,in the future,I hope you rise with happiness and shine happily in your life cause utmost I know you deserve it the most. I truly love you and how you make me feel safe.
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