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I am currently a junior studying construction engineering. It’s not an easy degree and I feel like I’m failing, but I’m really not. I graduated as a valedictorian at my Highschool (we had 14 who had 4.0 but it was based off SAT scores so I wasn’t really our classes top valedictorian). During high school, I was in a program when I was able to get my associates for basically free within a year of graduating high school. So, after a year out of Highschool, I graduated with my associates degree and transferred to a big university by my home town. I was able to land some pretty amazing scholarship, (totaling roughly $55,000) so I go to school for almost an 8th of the originally tuition price. But I just can’t get out of my head that I am a failure. Engineering isn’t really what I wanna go into, it’s what my family wants me to go into, I really wanna teach. So, I feel like a failure because I got a few low grades on tests. It’s almost like I’m drowning in the amount of work and I can’t seem to keep afloat in the into engineering courses. I have thought about switching my degree, but I would loose all scholarship money and risk disappointing my parents even more (I’m gay and neither of my parents are willing to accept their son is gay). So...essentially I feel like I’m a failure because I am stressed out to the max on low level courses in a degree I’m not 100% sure I want. I just needed to get that off my chest becuase I don’t really have anyone close to talk to in my life, both of my close friends are also going though a lot and I feel bad loading my problems on top of theirs.
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I’d think that it would be logical to stop doing a course you seem to hate and do a teaching degree instead.
ReplyYou came this far, someone who fought and fought again to keep something is not a failure. You are not a failure. You work so hard to appease everyone around and you did a great job. You have suffered enough. Intersectionality ways you down.
I suggest you finish that degree in Engineering, then get your teaching credential.
It's your life stop living other people's dreams.
The more you give the more they take till your suck dry but they still want more.
Live for yourself, chose you before others, be selfish, finish what you started, and start what you haven't.
What hasn't burst yet is bound to overfill one day.
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