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tw; suicide and self harm: everything bad has been amplified by 1000. im so so insecure and i cant find any positives about myself. every little thing about myself is an imperfection and nothing about me fits the beauty standard. i feel so lonely at night and my head keeps saying none of my friends REALLY actually care about me. im the third wheel of the friendship. i hate everything i do. i have no talents like everyone else in the world. i sing sometimes but i sound tone deaf and off key sometimes. i play ukulele but its so average compared to all the great people out there. i draw but dont get me started. i draw like 4 times before getting art block for months and i never am improving and everything i draw looks like garbage. there are artists younger than me and they create absolute masterpieces compared to the actual garbage i make. im good for absolutely nothing. ive been spiraling down and i've been getting addicted to self harm again and all i think about is cutting myself open and dying. i want to consume every pill i can find and i want to get into my dads alcohol. i want to hang myself from the ceiling i'm so tired. i want to feel loved so bad and i want to meet new people but im petrified to HELL im going to hurt them like i've hurt other people. i want to do the things teens do but im stuck in my bedroom crying and screaming to feel something. i want to fall in love again but im scared it'll end like my first relationship. i have such bad abandonment trauma and issues and i need someone to promise they'll stay unlike everyone in my life who have left. hell, i'll even get into a relationship where the other uses me as a punching bag as long as they promise to stay for a while. whats wrong with me???? i want to be okay for the first time in years but i dont know how to do that. why do i want people to hurt me??? am i crazy?? i cant do this anymore. i turn 16 next year and i promise heaven and hell im not seeing 16.
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please please pleeaaassee dont commit suicide!! ik this sounds hella dumb but i'd have a mental breakdown if you died. i know i don't know you but i'm sure you're an amazing person. it makes me so sad to think that ppl like you underestimate themselves. so, i know this is only coming from an idiot from mass. but please just know that i love you. i really love you.
Replythank you <3 ive been really trying lately and i guess i can try a little harder :)
Replyplease please pleeaaassee dont commit suicide!! ik this sounds hella dumb but i'd have a mental breakdown if you died. i know i don't know you but i'm sure you're an amazing person. it makes me so sad to think that ppl like you underestimate themselves. so, i know this is only coming from an idiot from mass. but please just know that i love you. i really love you.
Replyplease please pleeaaassee dont commit suicide!! ik this sounds hella dumb but i'd have a mental breakdown if you died. i know i don't know you but i'm sure you're an amazing person. it makes me so sad to think that ppl like you underestimate themselves. so, i know this is only coming from an idiot from mass. but please just know that i love you. i really love you.
Reply