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i have abusive parents. they stopped hitting me since im 15 now but they still verbally abuse me and i think my mom gaslights me. my dad has severe anger issues and the smallest thing can make him blow up and scream and then he stops talking to you for months. currently, he isnt talking to my family and so it's easy to deal with him. my mom on the other hand, is like a snake. she spits poison at me and denies that i have depression and wont get me diagnosed. sometimes shes the sweet and caring mother that everyone expects a mother to be. other times, shes screaming at me and threatening me. she insults my weight and makes horrible remarks about me. i know i'm slightly overweight for my age but even with working out and dieting, nothing worked. she told me i look like a pregnant woman despite me not having that large of a stomach and yesterday she asked me if we need to buy new pants for schools because ive gotten soooo fat. what kind of question was that?? of course i fit in my pants??? if i snap at her for calling me fat she screams at me saying shes my mother and that shes right. i have 3 A-s and 4 As. i'm a straight a student with a 4.2 gpa. my mom tells me im stupid and going nowhere because of the 3 A-s. i want to go to the us for my education and she tells me i'll never make it because what college will give me a scholarship, let alone accept me. i've done some math and ive found that if i pay no debt off as a student and i pursue a higher education after a bachelors, i'll amount to about half a million dollars in debt. thats scary as hell to me and i want to get a scholarship to help but my mom keeps calling me a failure. i get we're an asian family but it does hurt. it hurts really really bad.
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Just a little vent
I don't know if it's my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria from my ADHD, or my depression, or anxiety acting up, but this week has been pretty crappy. I've had a few...
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i guess i'm carrying pain...
I watched as you faded layer by layer... You were gone before you saw it happen to me... You never told me how painful it was......
Your parents don't have the tools to talk to you nicely (trust me.. my Dad is the same, Asian and hard core)
I can only advise that diet plays 90% of weight loss having done it myself, try that for at least 2 months and you'll definitely see results.
As for the student debt, it's a sucky system (guessing America?) That is modern day slavery. It's not your fault seriously, for me a grown man, 38, thinking of paying off a 500k debt is crazy.. especially for a young person like you.
Is it possible to totally "resign" from this system, aka move to another country and run away from there? Will the banks chase you if you emigrate?
Replyi was thinking of running away and totally disowning my family once i move out but i dont know what might happen as a consequence. my mom when shes not screaming me is very affectionate and clingy to me so i dont know what would happen to me and if she would track me down to kill me or something
ReplyLots of agencies would get involved if you did and they’d basically make you get family therapy
ReplyIt's almost amusing how, when you are doing good in life, or academics or anything in general, and that one person has the power to make you feel like a failure, just because they share a bond with you.
I can also relate here. My parents are Asians and pretty strict. Sometimes, it feels like they love me for who I'm supposed to be, rather than for who I really am. And it sucks, like really sucks. But I'm tired of trying to change their mindsets. And I don't wanna assume anything, but you must be too.
I just wanted to say that you sound like a really smart, reasonable and beautiful person. I know this doesn't mean much; but you should know what you really are inside and out, instead of what your mother is trying to make you think you are.
Most Asian parents want their child to believe in the things they believe. I mean I don't blame them for WANTING that. I blame them for forcing us to appreciate and adopt their wants.
You are awesome, okay? Please, please, please don't let false judgements bring you down.
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