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My boyfriend lost his job because of corona so he ended up drinking too much last night and hit me. He didn’t remember anything this morning but saw the bruise on my face and keot asking if he did something. I eventually told him and he started crying, apologizing, and begging me not to leave him. He's normally suuuper nice and everything and I love his dumb ass but Im not tryna get hit everytime he gets drunk. He had never been like that before, what do I doooooooo
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Its never ok for that kind of abuse even if drunk. Shouldve called the police if you're an adult. It could be a one time thing but what if it happens again? It's a tough situation you need to decide what you want. Id consider leaving him too if it were me. It's all depends if he's willing to change and you're willing to forgive. I'm sorry that happened to you xx
Replyask him not to drink around you, and to make sure he sobers up while with you. If he can do that, then you're golden. If not, maybe it's time to find someone else.
ReplyTake what I say with a grain of salt, I'm fourteen :/
ReplyFirst of all that is a classic sign of an abuse pattern starting. I think you should def consider mentioning some counseling for him and you, seeing as you also went through this experience. by you forgiving him and taking him back you are saying that what he did was okay. Also he may stop drinking for a while but how long until he starts drinking again, and does this sort of thing again? There is a lot to unpack about this and I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.
ReplyTell your mother. DO NOT TELL YOUR FATHER UNLESS YOU WANT TO OR NEED TO AND IF IT GETS SERIOUS. Yur mom will know what to do.
ReplyPLEASE LEAVE HIM! drunk or not hitting your partner is never ok. That's how my aunts situation started he hit her once while drunk she didn't leave or tell anyone He saw he didn't have any consequences then it turned into full on abuse every single day! It was so heartbreaking seeing her with bruises and busted lips when we visited her. Trust me you don't want to put yourself or your loved ones through that! You're not married boo please stay safe <3
ReplyHas this happened before when he drinks?
ReplyYou need to leave.
He needs to get counselling and or get support to stop before it becomes a bigger problem.
Being drunk is not an excuse.
If you don’t leave, he probably won’t get counselling and the abuse probably won’t stop and likely to get worse.
If you leave and you find out in the future that he did stop, it will be because he went and got counselling and successfully followed through and/or he learnt by you leaving him which he may regret but he may not see that it was because of you that he stopped because it was stopped early wnough (but you must keep your head high and not look back because it might undo all of the progress if you go back).
Get a good support circle around you to start the emotional leaving process and when you’re ready, you must tell him why you’re leaving.
He may react in a way that tells you it wasn’t a big deal but that’ll be normal.
But know that it will be a big deal in the future.
Also, you didn’t mention if he said anything along the lines of, what should we do together to solve this problem?
If he didn’t say that then he isn’t willing to nip this in the bud (consciously or subconsciously) or change the behaviour if it does get bad for you because he can’t see there’s a problem forming.
He only apologised and reacted to what you said because you took action from your side, but there wasn’t a mention of any action from his side to solve the issue. Red flag right there.
Reply