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I don't want to tell friends or family about my problems because I'm afraid they'll start looking at me from a different perspective, so I'll write it here. My dad died 6 months ago and I think I got over it but I still feels terrible. My brother always been quarrelsome and loud but now it's even worse, I don't know how to tell him how lucky he is. He is 5 years older than me, so our father was at my brother's 18th birthday, he was also at his prom, when he was taking his driving license and when he wrote his baccalaureate. Our father didn't even see me in dress. I don't know how to say that I envy him so much that he had more time with dad than I did. No matter what I say to my brother, even the usual "hand me something" ends up insults. I don't know what to do, I'm so tired this. Every day I joke about my dad and life so that no one knows that I want to cry as I hear a song that he had as a ringtone on the phone. I don't know what to do.
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Feeling jealous is normal. Your brother doesn't sound like a nice person. All the time spent with your dad did not benefit him. I'm sorry for your loss.
Can you get some adult help in dealing with your brother? The question he has to answer is why is he treating you like this? Easier to have someone else asking. I don't think you should keep this to yourself, or it won't stop.
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