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I'm getting left behind, my brother doesn't hang out with me anymore. My friends are always busy, my grandparents moved to Flordia. Cousins never ask to spend time with me anymore, and we were always so inseparable. It hurts when you suspect it more than when you don't. You try to prepare but it only makes it worse. I sit in my room watching Netflix, coloring till the sun comes up. Feeling alone, more and more every day. Then you realize it's the only feeling you have loneliness, pain, and loss. All made into one feeling hungry for more, hunger for happiness. Joy, trying so hard to get it but you only realize how alone you truly are because of your left behind. And soon it's the only thing you have left... yourself, you have nobody but yourself. And that leaves a hole in your heart, one so deep nothing can fill it. Then it's the only thing you truly understand, you become angry, confused, and lost. Your broken, alone, and your future was washed away. And you have to make a new one but how?
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i guess you are at least in that phase of your life where you could move out from your place meet new people outside and talking to strangers sometimes make us feel good. You can also try out maintaining a time table for all your daily activities i know which is so hard to follow but at least you can try out. Try to think about your future plans for 10 minutes a day may be that may help you out .
ReplyThere was a time when that was all I think about, I'm not old enough to move out yet. But I want to, when I was younger I knew exactly what I wanted to do. And where I wanted to live, I even had blueprints for my own house that I made when I was 15. I am a future planner, I feel lost without it but I ask to go places, and see things. Nobody wants to walk with me, this is a journey I've always taken alone. Then I got close to my family, and they left me behind. I guess that what happens when no one teaches you to love.
ReplyYou're not alone in feeling this way. I'm in the same boat as you.
All I can say really is, "Life is a Journey".
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