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PLEASE FORGIVE ME!
4 months ago · · Forgiveness,
I’ve wanted to confess all the bad things I’ve done for a while. But I’m an atheist, so I certainly wouldn’t do it in front of a preacher— which is why I’ve chosen you all as my audience.
The things I’ve done were things that I did through the ages of 4 up to eight years old. I’ve always loved animals, and have wanted to learn about them and protect them, so I’ve gone to many events claiming to do that. But what would I know? I was only five, and at age five, I dissected an animal with a class. It was the Seaquarium, and so of course I supposed it was going to protect them. NO, all I did was cut apart a small shark that was once alive, but wasn’t anymore. They said they got it from a fisherman that found her dead when I asked, but then when I figured it out, that’s not how they obtained her.
So not only did I participate in that dissection, there was also that of yet another shark and a starfish. They all said that it would increase our awareness, and they said that we were the future to help animals but they made us do that.
Up until recently, I was an avid fan of Lolita the whale’s shows until I realized that she’d spent forty years of her life alone in a bathtub she could barely turn about in. But once again, they manipulated me and told me that it was for conservation. Nobody told me that she’d been forcefully taken from her herd in the wild and forced to perform every day since even if she was sick or tired or injured.
Same thing with Flipper the dolphin. And nobody around me expressed a shred of doubt about what they were doing was wrong, and so I took their cues and stayed silent.
I also took a photograph with a baby alligator with his mouth taped shut and wearing reindeer horns on his head, at a private zoo. He was so sedate, but I”m sure he wanted to fight back. Still, nobody ever thought it was cruel and exploitative. Now I wonder what happened to him, now that he’s grown out of a manageable size.
I sat and watched as our local zoo imported a panther, then put her in an enclosure far too small for what she needed. They said it was to look natural, but there is nothing natural about it.
There are bobcats in tiny cages at another place, cages the size of a solitary confinement prison cell. They are left out baking in the sun with not that much shade.
I have unwittingly done so many horrible things to animals. All I want to do is save animals, and now I’m probably responsible for the suffering and untimely death of some. All my biology teachers told me that we were going to conserve them but they used that as a guise to torture even more. That shark I dissected was pregnant, and I wonder if she was still alive when we cut into her side.
I”m now a vegetarian pushing on vegan and I never want to do any of this again. I am so incredibly guilty that I did all this and said nothing. If I’d spoken up and maybe refused to do some of this, maybe some of them would be happy. Please forgive me. I’ll never do it again as long as I live and if I see anything like that again then I will scream at them until they do something.