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I feel like I'm destroying all my relations as I'm lazy and procastinate the whole day. I don't do justice for myself as I never take a stand. I drain the positive energy of people around me and induce them with negative energy. I look like a dull and depressed person most of the time and the other time I am just silent and never say what I feel . I find it really hard to open up to friends and even approach them in general. They always reach out to me talk to me help me , I try responding with the same enthusiasm almost every time , but the approaching part is where I am unable to do anything. I'm very insecure and also possessive which is the worst possible combination possible , I feel like nobody wants to listen to me so I never reach out to anyone . I have quite a lot of friends and I have now started feeling like they deserve a better person / friend than me . I never initiate the talk , I never reach out , I most of the times fail to keep my promises , I have never achieved in life and instead of backing my friends i feel like I drain their energy into something useless . I think they are wasting their time on me at this point . They send me gifts on my birthdays and I forget their birthdays a lot of the times , I feel guilty but then again I am not able to express myself. I get scared when someone starts to get close to me , which is again super contradictory to my above bad qualities which are possesiveness and insecurity. All these things add up and I don't know what to do . I have already lost a lot of my friends of my nature and I don't want to loose more or disappoint them . I want to become someone that inspires his friends and care for them and not be a energy drainer and demean his friends. I guess I'm just super immature I dont know what to do.
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start to appreciate ur friends first . ur lucky u have them . i dont have any.
ReplyI don't have Friends either.
ReplyIf you know what is wrong with you change. If you can't a counselor or therapist should be able to help you.
Reply