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Lately, it's been pretty suffocating with how living with my parents and siblings has been. Don't get me wrong, I don't completely hate them and plan on cutting them out of my life. I just wish I could live and feel like more of an adult rather than how I'm being treated here. I'm turning 20 this year and I don't even have my own room or car. I barely even have the freedom of a young adult because I have to let my family know where exactly I am at all times and work around the house with little to no time left for myself. Yes, I know it sounds selfish or and that my parents just want to protect me, but it's been slowly eating to my mental and emotional health. Not only that, but I have to deal with the hypocrisy, double-standards, and gaslighting from my parents. Some people may call it tough love, but honestly if your parents know that you've got anxiety and depression, and then proceed to make me feel like I don't know what I'm talking about or that I'm being way too emotional, it makes you feel like you're weak and you won't last a day on your own. I'm tired of living this way and I want to leave to work on myself and figure out what I'm going to do with my life. I don't have enough money to rent my own apartment yet, and the only people I can go to are my grandparents. My plan was to talk to my parents on why I want to move back in with my grandparents. I'd have a little more freedom as an adult and I'll actually be able to figure myself out. If they're okay with it, then all I'd have to do is let my grandparents know and clean out the room I'll be staying in. This seems like a solid plan, but I'm terrified of bringing it up to my parents. I have no idea how to start the conversation and I'm scared that I'll stumble on my words. I scared that they'll think I don't appreciate them and that I'm only wanting to leave so that I can freeload off my grandparents. I know I'll probably hurt my parents' feelings with my reasoning and I don't want to come off as disrespectful then be disowned and kicked out with nowhere to go. I'm probably overreacting, but I really just need to let them know that I want to do this.
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Good parents raise their children to go off and be independent. You are obviously trying to make a stop towards that. If your parents object, that shows they are failures, not you. You need to just do it. You are over 18, which is the legal age to take responsibility for yourself. You work out how you're going to move, then you sit down with your parents and tell them your plans. You ask your grandparents first since you need to make sure they are ok (it would be childish for you to just assume). Then you tell your parents you want to grow up and to do that you need to move out and these are the plans you made for yourself and your stuff. You do not need huge explanations for doing the thing all kids should be doing. You are just growing up. Normally kids move out completely but you can't so you are moving to your grandparents so you can learn to establish adult relationships with them. If they try to give you any resistance on how you should stay home, remember they are failing as parents because parents are supposed to be raising children to go off on their own. But perhaps it's best not to tell them that. Just realize it's not you who is at fault.
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