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I am your average 20-year-old college student. Except I am not. I do not think my life is normal nor do I see it as a good thing or a bad thing. I'm gay, my parents have no clue, and I feel like I can't breathe as I'm constantly overwhelmed with the impulse to tell them. But I know they would not love me. I have a boyfriend and he is the sweetest person I have ever met, yet I often find myself feeling lonely. No, he is not responsible for me feeling lonely. I've always felt this way. Even before I met him, before I knew I was gay, I just felt lonely. That lonely feeling leads me to think a lot, I'm an overthinker.
I think and analyze everything in my life; often leading me to be sad. Recently I've been overthinking more than usual. I feel lost, I feel like I'll never be able to accomplish anything in my life, or that if try I will fail miserably. I love music and I have always wished to produce/write music. My favorite artist Troye Sivan ( currently listening to him ) has had a very big impact on my life, even in coming out. Music is special to me; however, I am not confident in myself. I do not believe I have the voice nor the talent to be someone special. I don't think I'm special, I don't think I'll ever be special. This is very random for me to write so I'm sorry if somethings do not make sense, saving my try-hard writing for the scholarship that is due Monday. Yikes.
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That’s a lot of writing
ReplyWhy do gay men always cry about thr parents? He can have sex with women and men and they still cry about it
Replyare you aware of the term "bisexual"? And how it differs from being gay?
ReplyI know this one guy that was married and I didn’t know he was gay until he told me about how his mom never tried to go meet his ex wife, and I told him maybe because she didn’t want to waste her time....
ReplyI can't speak on whether or not you should open up to your parents because that's a big decision to make on your behalf but in terms of you seeing yourself as "special" or not enough only lies on your perspective on how you see people, if you want to make music because you are inspired to make a beautiful coalition of sound then do so, those "special" people as you call it are only people who put initiative into they're day dreams, they didn't beat themselves up with doubt and bullshit pity parties and then end up magically in the life of someone "special" they went for it and stopped crying about it.
Replyits okay to feel that way bud. Its part of the process of being ready to open up soon. Cheer up! Many will support and love u
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