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Are you proud of the way I grew up? You should be I grown up exactly how you told me, my hair is too long or to short there I go and fix it. I shouldn't act that way, no worries I fixed that too. You even chosen my career, my friends, my likings, all for love I never got from you. I'm still not the way you wanted you say, but it's too late for me to be myself. I can't pull myself together to talk back and say I'm not like that. I simply love you so much that I forgive you and do as I'm told.
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I understand you
I know other people with the same thing
it's not too late. I know someone who finally struck back when he was 36 and had kids. he left for more than a year to find himself. thankfully his wife was understanding
when I was younger I would tell myself that I'd put up with it then get revenge after. I thought that by giving in to what they wanted would give me the right to be angry later.
well I wasn't able to hold it in and did things I regret.
I can't say they haven't stopped pushing me, but I began fighting back. I began with what I could do. Like dressing the way I want, liking what I want, showing off the hobbies I truly want. I'm still under their reigns, but I'm slowly loosening it until it will be completely off
I understand when you said that you love them so much and you forgive them and follow them, but think about it. if you end up miserable, you'll blame them. you'll hate them. but then you'll realize that you didn't talk back. or you didn't try hard enough. you'll be angry and resentful towards yourself and others
you may say it's too late now, but later on, the desire to be yourself will jump out and you will be very angry at them and at yourself. and you will hurt both.
it's better you try now even if it hurts them, rather than fighting back in one big blow
and if you don't tell them or if you don't push back
the pain will be way worse for all of you
don't break yourself to make them happy
I'm sending you courage and strength
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