family exppectations

I keep myself i am not a bad guy, but no one seems to think same in my family.

Due to covid i am working at home and stuff couldn't get any worse. My mom was against my career in cybersecurity cause she and my grandmother thought i would become a hacker and probably be hanged to death like that one guy years ago in somee news paper, and they were against me becoming a businessman and ending in cases cause of perjury. i did not ask much but then i started secretly as a sales guy . and eventually got a job as a full time developer.

Awhile back they gifted my younger brother a car, farmhouse and a lot of money for parties. Needless to say for my certifications or for investment in my side business nothing was given. i was more than used to this treatment since i am not good at passing papers like my brother, and i want to make it on my own since no one supports me anyway. I never talked back or told them about my job or business, even if i keep getting told that i am a failure, i finish work late night and get chewed out all day, but when i heard that they were confident i would be a failure in life and my brother who only does parties and spends night on tinder would be successful and that they are going to send him more money, and a new phone.

Not that they know its going to be spend in cocaine parties, booze or his ex-girlfriend.

And here i do not get offered a new laptop either.

I snapped and told them everything i even said that i got into training for network security. stuff is really bad ever since. everyone say i am the black sheep of the house and i don't talk much or do my duties as the eldest son or take over the family business or marry or i do not have 6 pack abs like my younger brother.

so i said i do not want to be like my brother or dad or mom.

To be honest i really don't care usually but they never let go keep telling me i will fail if i take a higher position in my career. i snapped i dont want respect for myself anymore but at least appreciate my work if you cant do that leave me alone. All my friend support me and even help me, my uncle says i am going to do great. Its not like i am asking them to praise me but just not belittle me every second of day.

I am confused why people like me for my work, i have offers that i have to reject but my family thinks i will fail.

All the time i am confused weather i am the good guy or that's just what other think of me. Or i am a bad guy who can handle only low end jobs.

I agree i don't care much about clothes, girls or parties, i cant get high. Those things never interested me. I do not care to be successful i just want to work where i want to with my complete focus.

I do not form in the norm anywhere i don't feel the need to stay drunk or use my dads money or his influence anywhere.

Everyone says i am not living life like my brother is partying without worry and moving through without a job or ambition. Yeah i can ask for enough money so that i am live without working too. but i wrote myself out of my inheritance willingly.

I am doing what i want to do and moving away soon. I do feel obligated to care for my family and take care of mom.(parents are separated soon after i was born and live of my earning). and dad wants to retire and give his company to me.

Most people say that i should just stay take my inheritance instead of trying to start my own business.

I have decided what to do but when everyone says otherwise i start to doubt it, even though i keep continuing on my plan.

I do not want to be that guy who abandons his family cause that makes me the bad guy who ran away. But i am. I do not want to be the guy who tells his girlfriend how to live, 5 years my gf wants to experience multiple relationships like all our friends have. I started out as a good guy but now i feel like being bad.