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I am not important. However, that will never change the fact that as long as I live, my life is number one priority. The most “selfless” of people will never admit that fact. Not because they think they’re superior, but because to some, being selfish is something to be frowned on. It’s almost as if some think the world would be better off without selfish individuals. But of course those people would almost never actually do anything about it, because of course, that is selfish thinking. So I ask, why in the actual blue fuck, would someone go out of their way make others miserable to the point of wanting to kill them selves? Even when asking politely, screaming, or just trying to appeal to logic, what would possess an individual to be the absolute worst possible person? If the sole act of thinking about someone else warrants selflessness. Then is it truly possible to be selfish?
Imagine this, a man leaves his home, his family, his entire way of life, (for the sake of argument let’s say the man lives in a large city) just so he can spend the rest of his natural life in the outdoors of the wild. Is this a selfish act? The smarter of people will probably also ask, “I don’t know the whole situation, so wouldn’t that be an ‘unfair’ question?” And sure, there are probably plenty of reasons for a person to give up on inner societies. However, I’ll give two completely different scenarios,(call them extremes) that might help with the critical aspects of this argument.
the man in question has spent his entire life working,(mostly dead end jobs) since he was a kid.(preteen more specifically) despite never having any real aspirations, it never stopped him from being happy. Even though every day as he got older, his job became more difficult preform out of his progressively aging self. In his mind, he couldn’t give up even if he wanted to. His life outside this borderline mundane reality is to precious him. (Almost to the point of insanity) in his mind, if he doesn’t work, he loses everything. (Seems mostly alright huh?...Maybe) to him, there isn’t many situations that could make his life better. The thought of living outside this reality of his, isn’t what he fears. He fears losing this reality, because he knows without it, there isn’t much waiting for him 𝘰𝘳 his life outside work. So what could possibly makes this mans life, go from having a full life in the city, to living in the wild? (Just wait)
2) the man in question has spent his entire life committing crimes (mostly nonviolent) since he was a kid. (preteen more specifically) despite never having any real aspirations, he never had an issue with getting by, and if anyone asked, he’d earnestly tell them that he’s happy with his life and wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even though everyday as he got older, his life became more enveloped in the darkness of death, destruction, and chaos. In his mind, he couldn’t give up if he wanted to. His life inside this borderline mundane reality, is to precious to him. (Almost to the point of insanity) (Seems alright huh?... maybe) to him, there isn’t many situations that could make his life better. The thought of losing this reality is a possibility with every crime he commits. It isn’t losing this reality that he fears though. He fears never being able to go back to this life. All it would take is one slip up, and he’d spend the rest natural life in prison. So what could possibly make this mans life go from having a full life in the city, to living in the wild? (Just wait, it’s not because of fucking jail)
These two excel at their ways of life. They know themselves better than anyone and both have cocky ass personalities to pair. Where a majority of people in their situations are absolute morons, they are not. (Though both will claim otherwise) neither of them could count how many times they had to compromise in order to continue their lives, but in the end, it was always deemed “worth it”. If these two had the very unlikely situation of meeting each other, they no doubt would scoff at one another with the thought of “living a life like his”. But if they were reading this argument, they would no doubt be surprised that some random outsider would even give a shit. They would ask, “I know I’m not important in the grand scheme of things, so why are you writing about me so arrogantly?” Because, both, besides the existential side of their lives, have one other thing in common. There is no one on this planet who could even begin to truly understand their perspective. (Duh that’s everyone) “My life is important to me.” Obviously. As well as having one person in particular for both of them, that goes out of their way to make the two’s life as much of a challenge as possible, by constantly telling them that they are living their lives wrong.
Day after day, night after night, these two now question their existence more than ever before. Their life choices progressively being beat down on them every time they think about the person in their life. (most likely close family) now, rather than the untroubled content state of mind they crave, the distraction of their “family” has given them a noticeable decrease in their individual work ethics, with the only way to actually achieve their desired state of mind, being completely destroyed by something they have almost no real control over. (welcome to life lol) but they still do their absolute best to continue the most satisfying way of life they know. (The only one they know) For these two, this is as selfless as it gets. It now appears to them that they hit their peak of happiness on every level and now work to achieve a balanced state of mind on account of them now having negative stress in both aspects of their lives.
Now, what does this have to do with living in the woods? Absolutely nothing. These two spent years taking this harassment, and tried everything they could think of to mediate this experience. Until one day it felt as if the entire world was sitting on their shoulders, whispering, yelling, and swearing at them that they are wrong. The individual in their family taking every opportunity possible, to put similar emotions on these two as if they are the ones that’s started it all. While on some level, they know that their life (besides birth) is their fault. Still, they ask why. Why is it that someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own existence, is telling someone who does, that they are wrong to live that way?
These two both went to therapy, self help groups, and even turned to drugs just to get a perspective that could help. Nothing worked, and like clockwork, continue to be harassed for their life choices. Then, as if being guided, they both settle on this thought. “What if I just left?”
What if indeed. At first, both thought this was a dumb fucking thought. “Leaving won’t help” but the more they thought about it, the more it made sense. At this point their closest friends and family are even taking the brunt of the force, with no stopping in sight. This drove them both almost to the brink of insanity. “Is it insane if I know it’s insane?” It was only a matter of time before both ended up in a psychiatric hospital. (The same hospital as each other) Their reasons for living are different, but their reasons for ending up there exactly the same.
“How did I get like this?” There are a few reasons, some obvious, and some not so much. But this argument isn’t about how they ended up like they are. This is about the last ditch effort they had to take in order to finally put the ridiculous situation to rest. The two only passed by each other once in the hospital, but in those few seconds of weird eye contact, they felt they understood one another almost perfectly. They never saw each other again.
After being discharged, they began to plan their new futures, with streams of tears rolling off their faces as they seriously contemplated the idea of leaving everything and everyone behind. Both gave one more try at reasoning with their harassers. Both failed. “I’m just not smart enough I suppose”. (Ridiculous when considering they are certified geniuses but without the certification) but intelligence and aptitude are very different things, something they understand very fucking well.
And so they left. Both sharing the last words to their friends and family , “I am important, that’s why.”
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