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An offer I'd never refuse. After a hard day and feeling very lonely who wouldn't want head pats and a face smoosh? Especially from someone you care so much about. He started school again recently and it's a little hard for me since I get to spend less time with him. But I'm happy for him, he's been having a nice time with his classes and we watch movies or game together when he has the time. He has 4 very full days of classes a week though so the time I get to spend with him isn't nearly as much as I'd want. But it's not something I'm upset over, I just relish in the time we do get to spend together. He's so sweet and comforting when he comes around and it makes even the hardest of days sort of melt away. He understands me in a way that I've never really experienced before. He gives me affirmation when I need it and asks if there's anything he can do. I can't wait to see him again so I can cash in those head pats and face smooshes >~< I'm really excited for his birthday coming up but I don't know when I'll get to see him for it. Hopefully not too far off since it's already been a little bit since we've been together.
I've been thinking a lot lately of how I want to ask him what he's feeling and thinking. I value our relationship immensely and I know he cares about me too, but I want to know the extent of it. I want to be his girlfriend. Very much. But it's a conversation I want to have with him in person so I've been sort of holding out on it. It's getting more difficult. It feels a little silly that something like this can feel small and magnanimous at the same time. I guess part of me is worried (mostly from just good ol' anxiety) that it could go poorly. I don't really think it would but the fact that it c o u l d makes it just hard to do. He's such a sweet and caring boy and he means so much to me. I want to keep him. He has different attachments than I do which also gives me a bit of worry. I know that he likes me and cares about me but what if he doesn't want to keep me too? Things have been going so well and we've been having such a wonderful time together. The only things going wrong are hypotheticals in my head. I know that things won't always be perfect. This won't even be the first time falling for each other. But it feels so much more right than it did the first time around. I guess I just really want to be able to say that I'm spending a weekend with my boyfriend instead of just a friend. Everyone knows we're both straight so when I say I'm going to stay with him for a few days it makes people raise eyebrows. I don't care what they think, you can casually spend time with anyone for extended periods of time. But I just want to feel like we value the time we spend with each other in a way that isn't j u s t friends. If that makes any sense, anyway. He's so sweet and understanding I don't think it'll go wrong but anxiety makes me scared to even try. He's so gentle and kind I don't think anything bad will happen but anxiety makes me worried that something bad c o u l d happen. He's so considerate and attentive I don't think he'll want less than I do but anxiety makes me feel like it's possible. I easily get stuck in my own head with anxieties and worries and he knows that it can't always be talked out or fixed. But he'll always offer me head pats and a face smoosh.
I want the ones that come after I tell him how I feel the most.
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ReplyβHey, if you are interested, then I would love to go out with you. However, I also really value our friendship where it is now, and am fine being just your friend.β
Iβd go with something like that. π
Replyit's seems so simple and yet i still haven't said anything lol i want to so much but it's something i'd want to talk about in person and he has a full week of classes and we live a little bit far apart for weekends to always work but we make time. i've seen him since and jus didn't have the guts lol but i think i'm more ready now
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