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I know that I most likely need a therapist, just because of the intrusive thoughts and the cutting. But every time my mom brings it up or says she’s worried about me, I brush her off and just say I’m having a bad week. I feel like I’m weak for asking to go to therapy. Plenty of people have sorted themselves out on their own so why shouldn’t I? Plus people have a lot worse issues than I do and if they don’t go, what makes me entitled to? I know I need help but asking for it is just too hard and I’m too stubborn to admit to my parents that they were right. I don’t want to ask them to pay for it because they can be so expensive and my mom and brother already go. I don’t want to burden them but I’m also scared I’ll do something irreversible if I don’t get help.
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there is nothing like overreacting, if it hurts you, IT HURTS YOU.
nothing wrong with needing help.
ReplyFirst and foremost, you're not weak because you need help. No one makes it through on their own. People have friends, family and it's a long process to get to a healthy point in which the intrusive thoughts go in the back. Sometimes life takes a hold of them, and it forces their thoughts away. But no one is doing it completely alone, it's incredibly rare actually.
You're not "entitled" to a therapist, but you have a right to seek out help. They're there to help, especially people that want and need help, just like you!
If they were right, it's irrelevant. They gave you a suggestion for your health, not a bet to be won. And when it comes to therapy, you have to get to a point of wanting help. They show you a way, but you need to take it for yourself. They won't be smug about it, probably just relieved you're willing to stop hurting yourself (mentally or physically) because they love you, and that's a fact.
They're your parents, and if they want to pay for your medical expenses, it's their choice. It's their money, and you're not a burden. You're their child. Let them help you, they'll be so much happier knowing you are healing than suffering alone.
I hope this doesn't sound harsh. But from experience, it hurts your parents to see you hurt, no price tag can be put on your happiness that they won't pay. Just let them love you and take care of you.
I know how it is to have those intrusive thoughts and shame for needing help, for wanting to get better but seeing a price to get there. I didn't heal on my own, and I almost ended it all because I wanted to "heal on my own". People are not superheroes. They need others, I needed others. Thanks to them, I'm alive.
Stay safe, and alive, please.
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