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I started feeling unwanted. I started feeling left out and unheard. My differences were made apparent by the people I called my friends. They don't like me for my differences. They look down on me because of them. Nobody would hang out with me, or try to get to know me one-on-one. They talked about me behind my back when I did something wrong in their eyes. I felt lesser. I felt like I was doing all I could to make this friendship work but it just never did, and they viewed it like I was doing nothing and they were doing everything. And as soon as I confront the issue, I'm the one at fault. I'm the cause of all this. Or, better yet, there isn't even an issue to begin with in their eyes. They don't understand how I'm feeling, what I go through and what I've been through. They told everyone about my mental health when it took me months to actually confide in anyone about it. I was harassed two days later, at a party, for not being more open about it and showing up without talking to another person about it. I kept it in out of fear of judgement and misunderstanding. I was scared of how my own friends would react to the fact that I was depressed and had social anxiety. I didn't want to tell another girl in our friend group about it because I had just found out she said "she couldn't wait until I was gone" behind my back. She was the type of person to seek pleasure through ruining someone else's day. She then harassed me two days later for not being open about it. For not talking to her. She said it wasn't her job to check up on her friends and it's their job to bring up concerns, yet even then, I was the bad guy when all I wanted in the first place was friends who had my back during a really hard time within myself. That's all I wanted. She said I made everything up for pity and attention. She told me I am a horrible person solely for not telling her about my mental health when I was already at the bottom of the barrel, life seemingly on the tip of my fingers. I can't forget.
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She told everyone in the friend group except me that she has depression and social anxiety. I think she's lying because she doesn't act like she has depression and anxiety, even for the past year she hasn't acted like it. I haven't noticed. I just don't understand why she's so bent up on being left out when we all get left out? It's like, a normal thing to happen to people? If someone is doing something with someone else, yeah I might get upset, but then I'll just make new plans. I think she just wants pity from all of us for not being invited. She only cares about herself. It's not like I can go back in time and invite her to all those places? Those plans just happened naturally, I guess. I view it like she's blaming her friends for how she's been feeling when in reality, we haven't done anything. I don't regret a single thing I've done. I don't think I ever will because I don't see anything wrong in the way we've treated her. I also don't like how she told everyone except me. She told me it was because "she doesn't trust me" but that would also be leaving me out as well? Which is hypocritical. She should've just told me to begin with before coming to our party because that was walking into territory where someone there is not happy about your arrival. It's pathetic.
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Her perspective is text messages she sent to me after the party, verbatism.
ReplyThis looks like she is paying out on you for what happened to her. Keep away from her.
Reply