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Idk if anyone will see this,
but I'm a teen girl and this past year has been really hard on me. And the online school omg, I can't stand it. For some back story, I have a step mom who has been around for half of my life, and my dad. Me and my step mom argue over everything every single day. As a matter of fact she thinks I'm writing an essay for school rn.
(problem with being at home always) I can't stand not being in school and they stopped paying my phone, so I only talk to my two friends through my ps4. Oh wait, I'm always grounded from that as well. My two friends are the only ones who stuck around through all of this. They are both guys, and my parents don't like that. Also Im straight, and my mom thinks I'm gay JUST BECAUSE I DON'T FLIRT WITH MY BEST FRIENDS. I- like why would I, we are friends and my parents can't accept that. It would be completely different if it was a girl.
(problem with boundaries) I have cameras in my room and I didn't even do anything to deserve them. They just randomly put it in there. Daily phone searches when I had it. Backpack searches when I went to school. Door and window alarms. And I swear I didn't even do anything.
(problem with online school) I'm struggling in online school. And I'm usually an A-b student. I have c's and b's this year. And both of my parents are always like "Well if i had the option to finish graduating whenever I want I would have graduated in the 6th grade" Bruh I'm not you and you have never had to do school from 6am to 3:30 pm. On a computer not allowed to get up for more than 5 min. to use the bathroom or make food. It hurts my eyes and gives me a headache.
(problem #1 with mom) Oh and remember when I said I get off at 3 and cant be off for more than 5 min? Yeah my mom gets home at 9am and expects the house to be clean. But it was her rule that I can't be up for more than 5 min.
(Problem with anxiety) Yeah. I have anxiety I think, I'm not diagnosed, but they wont take me to make sure. I get anxious when she gets home and when shes around me. I chew my nails until they bleed, I chem the inside of my mouth untill its bleeding and leaves sores. I actually had to go to the hospital once because I had chewed it so much that it got infected, and I had a huge lump under my jaw. see last paragraph.
(problem with being grounded)Also video games are my escape. And that's what they always take away. Once I was already grounded from all electronics, and they made me wear the clothes I didn't like to school. I got made fun of. This was in sixth grade. I think it was 3 size to big boot-cut maroon jeans, and this fruity my little pony shirt that I hated. Who does that. All she does is complain about me as well so.
(Problem with my dogs) We have two pit bulls and they are honestly everything to me. My mom yells at me because she says that I have nothing to do with them and that I never play with them. But I do, just not when she is home because I feel like she's going to judge me for running around with them. She's the type that would say " Well you never play with them any other time why now" She always says she is going to put them in a box on the side of the road if I don't behave. That's wrong on so many levels. And my brother never helps with them all he does is play video games. Gets away with it.
(problem with mom #2)I don't like sports. Or being outside really. But that's how most teens are. Like I'm sorry I didn't grow up with only a house phone and books like they did. I'm not a huge fan of books either, books are my mom's life and she buys me them for like every holiday knowing I'm not going to read them. Then she gets mad I don't read them and says that "i'm wasting her money"
(problem with controlling)They are so worried about my grades and I'm not sure why. I have gotten honor roll every year. But I'm not worried about this year and I don't think collage is either. Its 2020-2021 and it has been the worst year in a while.
(Problem with mom #3) She always threatens to send me away. Or says I'm going to make her leave one day. She wanted to send me to fking military school just because 𝐈 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐎𝐍. I can't make this stuff up.
(problem with mom #4) She is my step mom so I did not come from her. And my two siblings did. So obviously I'm treated different. Here's how it works; I was my dad's. My little brother was her's. And they came together and had my sister.
(problem with mom #5) Empty promises. Omg. She will say that she is going to take us for ice cream if we get good grades and we do then she says next weekend because shes broke. Then next weekend comes and I'll ask, then she gets mad that I asked and we don't go. It will be like Sunday and I'll ask at 5pm when I know she forgot. I was supposed to get my nails done a month before Christmas for babysitting my siblings and not being able to do anything or go anywhere all year. Never happened. First she moved the date because the nail lady was full. Then the next time only my mom got her's done and it was already like 9pm. Then the next time she was broke. Then the next time she was too tired. You get it.
(Problem with mom #6) Ill be taking a bath or shower or CHANGING in the bathroom and she will unlock the door and walk in and be like "wth are you doing" Then I'll be like "I'm changing can you leave please?" Then she says no because "It's her house and she goes where she wants" Then she will sit there just despite what I said.
(Problem with mom #7) "Bedtime." I don't know anyone my age that has a "bedtime" And if they do its not 8:30. All electronics off at 8:30 must be in bed. I dont go to sleep until 10. Because I can't. Funny thing tho is that my 5 year old sister pulls all-nighters and watches Youtube all night and doesn't get in trouble. If I did that I would be grounded from life.
(Denied me help) Also what I wanted to say that I asked for some kind of supplament (idk how to spell it) or medication for my anxiety or whatever, and they said no. They denied me help and I asked that as a test. I wanted to see kinda how they would react if I asked to go to therapy. My step mom has driven me to the point of wanting therapy. How do I ask. I could ask my dad but he will tell my mom because he tells her everything. Then she would come home when he is not home and confront me about it, then I would crawl back into my box and never spill my feelings to them again. It would be a nice confronting either.
This is all I can write right now my mom will be home to argue about how I never do anything soon. Ill continue later.
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Hi, ok I'm not in your situation but I can maby help with afew things. You said your step mum thinks your gay, I've never met your step mum but she sounds like she'd be b!tchy about that so as a gay I know ways to convince people your not.
1.) mention one paticular guy more than the rest when talking to your dad, it'll make them think you have a crush on him.
2.) ok this is a horrible one but god damn after a while it really works (to clarify I was really adament not to get outed and that's why I started this), ok so, if at any point someone brings up being gay or lesbian even if they're talking about like a character in a programme roll your eyes, it makes you seem like you don't like the idea of it.
Ok also the camer thing sucks and I know what I would do but you seem like a nicer person than me so I doubt you'd want to, plus your dogs are essentially being held hostage so you probably couldnt.
Also the therapy thing, have you considered messaging someone at childline, they listen to problems and they can act as a kind of counciling.
Wishing you the best!
(side note- your step mum seems ridiculously strict so this might not be possible but -and here me out- emo/punk/scene music acts kind of like a comfort blanket if you like it that is. If your willing to try this I can give you some songs that I thing are awesome.)
ReplySpill the songs. And ty :)
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