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I feel empty , dull. Like the world is in black and white, with no colours, no hope. I feel like I'm a ghost, as they say, time never stops for anyone. My friend just called. I tried my best. I hope my voice didn't give it away. I feel dead inside. She asked me to watch little woman with her. She is like a colour that I cannot see , seem to never reach. She said to ask my parents but I don't feel like I have any. I don't want to talk to long. It feels like a thousand swords in my heart yet it doesn't stop beating. I don't know anything anymore. I don't feel alive but it is still beating. I put on my mask, old and a bit crinkled from time. I have worn one ever since I was young. I can't say my feelings to anyone. Especially not my parents. Of course not my sister too. I have nobody in this world. All I have is myself and snowy. Oh my little baby. I hope that you will be happy everyday even if one day I'm gone. What are parents anyways. I can't even talk to them about my true feelings or have a conversation I'm actually interested in. I feel like that is the oldest mask I have. I feel so fake around my father. Like servants to the emperor, not daring to say a word out of line. Does my mom actually even love...What does love even mean. am I too old to be loved or cherished? That's the way it should be. Right? I guess my sister is just too perfect compared to me. My own mother hates me. She said it herself. Nobody will love me in this world except for me.
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