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As I sit here and feel numb, it feels as if every soul I begin to open up to quickly turns around & shows me exactly why I did not open up to them in the first place. I try and try to think of ways to express how I feel and my creativity but it almost feels like I am a bird who lost its chirp, completely free soul, but cannot communicate it sometimes. Then it occurs to me, why do I need to chirp? In a world where there is so much negative, spiteful, behind the back assumptions, it feels that a good word is like finding a needle in a haystack. Even when I get a quick glimpse of someone being a good person it quickly dissipates through their self-arrogant comment or self-depreciating words where they corner themselves and try to put up four swords so that no one may attack them. However, I think the most dangerous one is the one who does not put up a sword or a shield, thats the unpredictable behavior of a true visionary who just wants to live. I am not here to defend myself in words against my friends, I am simply here to live the motherfucking life I deserve, full of random adventures, good coffee, tequila, negronis at sunset, long car rides, cliff dives, and the sound of the ocean. I know I deserve it, and my soul feeds it. I just need to find a way to get there. -mr
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Shields are safe and good. I feel you mr
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