I want to hide in a cave and cry...

I am a teenager, I have a very cultural background. My parents are divorced. I don't know my real dad but I know my biological dad and he is great. Today is Mothers day and I do love my mother, however I hate her as well and she makes me stressed, depressed and sometimes makes me want to kill myself but I know I wont just the feeling is there. I had a fight with her even though my parents are divorced she can't get over the fact that my farther has moved on and has a girlfriend now. My mother tried to kill herself 2 weeks ago infront of me. The police came, the ambulance came, they took her away... The next day she came to my school to pick me up on a very special day for my country. The teacher came and said your mum was here I cried and cried, I didn't know what to do I didn't want to go to her, I didn't want to talk to her nor see her face! My dad came and picked me up from school. From there to now, I am stressed. I have alot of assessment to do and study but I just can't no matter what. Because of what she did I just can't get my mind off it I just can't at all. I want to hide in a cave and never come out just cry till everything my life is over. Today is mothers day, I went down to see her for lunch with my farther. I was scared to meet her again. When I soon got there I ran and ran across the house into my room shut the door and I wanted to cry. My mum brang me lunch and left me alone I didn't know what to do. I only saw her for 10 minutes and left. She begged me to come and stay with her, she begged and begged she said sorry 1000 times to me and I just looked down to the floor with a face that said 'I don't like you, I wish you wen't here.' I was a douche bag. I don't know what to do. I hate my life...