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He touched me. Hurt me. And yet he lives his life freely. I regret everything. I feel as if it's my fault. If I hadn't signed up for that website, it wouldn't have happened. I struggle more and more with my mental health each day, replaying what he did to me. I feel it. No matter how hard I scrub or wash, I still feel where he forced himself onto me. Why did he deny it. Why can't I forget it. Why do I have to forgive him, for what he did to me. I feel trapped and empty. I deregulate my emotions. I dehumanise myself. I want to forget everything. Yet I can't.
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It is NOT your fault! Forgive yourself, don’t focus on him! Focus on your healing and strength. It will take some time to work through this. I have had a similar experience, and it feels horrible, but I did get better with time, forgiving myself (not him!) and by healing. Sending you love and hugs
ReplyI hope one day you will realized that it is not your fault. You are in no way in the wrong place. Take your time to heal, to process and accept things, that way, you can forgive yourself. Your experience is truly terrifying and I hope one day you can be yourself again. Don’t let the past ruin you for the rest of your life.
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