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My mother does not have a good relationship with my father so she emotionally loads her anxiety and self-hate on me. I have a basically nonexistent relationship with my father. I am 15 so I can't really ignore it or leave. Does anyone have any advice?
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You can’t leave, yes, but you can ignore. You can train yourself to become résiliant to what she says. You won’t be completely numb to it but you definitely don’t have to stay suffering like this. Something I think it really important is, whenever say say something that makes you feel negative, always come back to yourself and rationalise it in your mind. Constantly remind yourself what you know is true. Also, what helps is to try and understand your mother so that you don’t end up feeling resentment. Understand that she is also suffering in her own way but don’t, and I think this is important, don’t convince yourself that because she is suffering then you also deserve to feel bad. This is about her and your father and try to distant yourself from their situation and not think about their problems, who’s right and wrong etc and that’s not your duty or business. I hope it gets better, and good luck. I am sure coping in the right way will make you a more résiliant person in the future, it doesn’t have to break you. :)
ReplyJust make yourself a safe place where you can vent. be kind and helpful but setup boundaries with your mother. if you want to have a relationship with your father than tell your mother that you want one. Not everyone has the same relationship with their fathers, so don't feed into the pressure societies puts on you. If you don't feel comfortable speaking freely with your mother, try sending her a text message or write a note about it and give it to her.
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