To whom it may regard, the one light of my life.

Hey. I'm super awkward but it doesn't really matter does it. No one will even see this. I'm stupid and developed a crush on my best friend. Sorry. How could I not you're the only person who seems to care. I know you'd never feel the same. I know you don't feel the same. I know you're interested in someone else. I'm just the best friend. Stuck at a rank I wish I could pass. Every time I see you it hurts me, you beautiful smile and the way you laugh when you're trying not to be too loud, because you're insecure about the way it sounds. I think you have a beautiful laugh. It hurts me every time you mention them, or go to their house. You know who I'm talking about. It hurts me every time you invite me over and we sleep in the same bed and just as you're right there, you're so far away. You always face away from me whenever we sleep in the same bed together, you don't like the way your face looks when you sleep. I won't look I promise. It hurts me as I feel like you only get closer to me, I get further from you, you've finally broken out of your shell. Able to make new friends without out any help anymore. I've never been more proud of you, I'm glad to see you happy. Yet it hurts more than anything as you find new friends and slowly move away from me, as I slowly drift out of your life as you meet new and better people. Sorry I kinda suck I know. You really mean everything to me. And our one other friend but you even more than them. I trust you more than everyone else I've ever trusted. The first time in a long time I was truly able to trust someone. I need you more than anything, and you slowly need me less and less. I'm so selfish. Sorry. Goodbye maybe in another life, I'll stand a chance. Just to be your friend once again. As stupid and cliche as it its - It would be more than enough. Sorry, already said I was awkward.

To whom it may regard, I love you.

~A