I didn't realize how much you meant to me

everything reminds me of you. everything. if I pass by a store we went to just once, I'll remember. I know your voice without even looking at you. all those memories together flood back into my mind at random times and it changes my mood so fast. you were the only reason I was happy, now you're the reason I cry almost everyday. I wish I could avoid you. but at the same time, I want to be around you whenever I get the chance. I cry when I'm not around you, but when I am around you, I hide my feelings and pretend I don't care. now you're with someone else. I refuse to believe you're over everything that has happened. it's been 3 months and I see the way you still look at me. just like 4 days ago. we made eye contact and you looked down and looked so vulnerable. you were fidgeting your hands. you always did that when you were embarrassed or scared. I remember you used to tell me that I was the reason you were comfortable with yourself, the reason you're confident, the reason your happy, and the reason you found out who you were. we were each others first loves. first real loves to be exact. but now, you're probably telling Lexi that she's the reason you're happy. maybe she makes u happier than I did. but I can see it. you're hiding. I know how you are. all of those deep conversations at 3 in the morning allows me to know what you're truly like. but who knows, maybe you're not that person anymore. it's only been 3 months. but I've seen people change in less time than you could ever imagine. I hope you're doing well. I love you Cora. I always have.