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I feel so depressed. I feel so stressed. For the last couple years I've been struggling with my mentality. It's weak and this leads me to do dumb things. To ruin myself. I haven't accomplished anything but getting 52 credits in the three years that I've been at college. And now I'm dropping out. Im dropong out because I've been harassed physically and mentally and my school has done nothing about it and I struggle to much being away from home so I have to leave. My parents don't know any of the struggles that I've gone through personally. I've never felt comfortable telling them about my problems because I get criticized with them saying I could have it worse Like they've said in the past whenever I've had a problem. My sister just graduated from college and my brother just started college with an almost full ride scholarship. I started to cry this morning. I cried because I realized I'll never make my parents as proud as they are of my siblings. I don't think I've ever done anything in my life that I'm even proud of. Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe I'm complaining for no reason. But I had to get this off my chest. Not wanting to share this with my family, my closest friends, not even my boyfriend. I didn't want to hear their opinions about how good of a person I am and about how that stuff shouldn't matter because it does. To me this stuff matters. I feel underachieved, I feel unaccomplished, and I'm not proud of myself.
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I'm glad that you're recognizing what you need, and getting out of a difficult situation. Even though achieving highly is something our culture strongly values, it is not what is MOST important. Are you only as valuable as what you can achieve? No. You are so much more than that! There has to be more. The way you love people matters most, and you can use success to work TOWARD that. For example, a doctor's credentials are only as valuable as the care they give to patients. If possible, I encourage you to consider going on a mission trip. I went on one two summers ago, and the things I did and the stuff I saw totally changed my outlook on life. I found life really isn't about my own life, but it's about using my unique gifts and talents to push the limits of how deeply I can love and serve people.
ReplyThank you for your comment and advice. It truly does mean a lot.
ReplyYou are most welcome :)
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