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i'll try to make this as short as possible, with the most clear and useful information.
i'm a girl. i have a huge friend crush on this group of guys sort of. i've always gotten along better with guys than girls.
i moved to this school like january 2020 midway of freshman year.
it's a christian school. there's like 8 ish guys in this group. they're all into airsoft haha. they hold Bible studies and stuff but it's mainly just with their friend group.
^^ these boys aren't like the "we're popular and trendy and bros before hoes". but apparently most of the guys "are better with guys than girls".
it's a small school, about 60 people in my grade. i'm (romantically) extremely interested in one of the boys, but i just seek friendship, yk?
i used to hang out with them, i'm a closer friend to one of the boys but he hangs out with different people at lunch (including me) but yeah.
i don't feel more comfortable with guys because i feel "special" that i'm the only girl or something- i wish i was closer with girls ngl, but the girls at my school have such close knit circles and i really have made efforts to get to know the girls on a deeper level, not just shallow small talk - but it just doesn't click (at least for now). it's frustrating.
i don't really know what to do. at lunch, the guys always play this basketball game and if i joined it, i would be pretty decent, i guess i just have this small bit of nervousness and worry a bit that i'd embarrass myself.
idk, i'm kind of a lone wolf at school. an ambivert, not a huge social butterfly but not super shy or introverted either.
not sure what i could do to make friends (specifically with those guys but eh). i move around a lot and i feel like i should be a pro at this, but this specific school is just so different compared to every other place i've been to.
or idk what to do about my "crush". i'd love a friendship with him, like a personal one. we barely talk though. i want to get to know him. but realistically, i don't think i'll be able to talk to him much. he's always with his guy friends. and if we do talk, it's exchanging a few words about the math test or something. yk what, i don't think he is or he would be interested in me on any level. i have this gut feeling that he has a certain type and it really isn't me. oh but the inner me wishes i was his type haha. i also don't even know what to talk to him about. i mean, i do, but what about introductions and stuff. idk how i could make him feel comfortable around me. oh crap i'm thinking about this too much.
gosh this is so frustrating. i just want to get over him and get over this want/need of friendship. i want to grow with someone in terms of faith, yk? but it's okay. i will just- stay a lone wolf ish. i wish i could just be normal or something. like, why couldn't i just be a social butterfly and why can't i just be into tyler the creator or rap music or trendy clothes or agh why can't i just look like everyone else too haha.
no no this is unhealthy. i love and accept myself, don't worry. it's just hard feeling like an outsider for 99% of your life. without thought, i end up asking myself "what's wrong with me? i've gotta be doing something wrong." but it's okay.
i just want to get this whole phase over with. it's tiring.
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I know exactly what you are talking about. I don’t have much good advice to give, because I am in a very similar boat, but I can tell you that you are definitely not alone.
Like, getting to know people on a personal, non-superficial level? Heck yeah. That’s the kind of thing I’ve always been looking for. Unfortunately, I went to a school that didn’t really have any students that wanted to be my friend. In my opinion, there was a lot of ego, and people that just didn’t think I was worth even giving the time of day to.
I’ll probably sound cliché, but please, be genuine to yourself. If you want to get out there and play sports with the guys, please do! If they are decent people that are worth spending time with and pursuing a friendship with, then they will treat you with kindness. If they choose to be mean or show negativity about it, then it’s their loss.
Idk what kind of interests you have, but maybe you could ask the guy you like about things in those categories? Like, for instance, if you enjoy Marvel content, you could simply ask, “Hey, have you seen any of the new Marvel TV series? I thought WandaVision was pretty great.” Just something like that. Or same thing with sports games! Just start out with simple stuff, and see where the conversation goes.
I hope this is good advice. I mean, I’ve had some success talking to different people in that manner. I believe all kinds of people can find things to bond over.
And it’s absolutely ok if you like things that most people don’t. Personally, I do not find that I identify with a lot of the popular things these days. I don’t even have a social media account, lol.
I try to find happiness and identity in the things that I enjoy. I love musicals, I love painting my nails, but I also love video games and comic books. You can definitely go around the lines of society’s stereotypes about what “category” you have to fall in. Please be true to yourself and don’t hold back from the things you love.
You got this. You’re not alone. Good luck :D
Replythis is literally the best input ever- i appreciate you so much, THANK YOU!!!
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