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Lately, there's been a lot of people in my life who have given up.
Given up on their dreams, their reasoning, their motivation, their muse.
And while that is normal, especially in college students, is it justified?
As my first year in college comes to an end, I've already met all types of people. Those who study their butts off and swear that this hard work will pay off, those who drop everything and go traveling with no long-term plan and just the simple hope that it will all work out in the end, and those who are just looking for the easy way out because they are simply lazy.
But then I think to myself: who do I want to be?
Sometimes I have the urge to be that carefree girl and just sell my car and my laptop and by plane ticket to Bali or Greece and find my way, other times I am completely in love with my major and indulge in the awesome feeling of learning something new.
I guess one thing that all people have in common is the pursuit of happiness.
That's why, to me, it's so scary to think that one day in the long term future, I might wake up and realize I'm in a never ending routine of school/work and domestic responsibilities with no way to escape because of children, or my husband, or my job.
I want to travel, see the world, eat crazy foods, jump in different oceans, help children in third world countries, and wake up with an urge to live my life to the fullest everyday. But how can I do this when at 18 years old, my life is already on the pathway to becoming just like any other life. School and work.
Let's say I decide to wait until I finish law school to do all of my traveling. But then there's this pressure to get married and this fear of losing the one you love because of your selfishness to enjoy your life.
These are just some of the things that keep me up at night and that stay in the back of my head. What if I'm not happy with my life?
It's been a few months since I started thinking about this.
But today, as I was driving home to my suburban neighborhood in South Florida, I looked up to the sky, and saw the magnificent sunset.
Ever since I was little, I had a fascination with the sky. Not just sunsets... it could be raining, snowing, cloudy, sunny, day, night, etc. Anything! It has always amazed me how different it can be everyday, yet how perfectly it always kept its beauty...
Anyways, as I was driving, the sunset looked amazing. It was different shades of purple, orange, pink, and blue. I was such in awe, that I decided to park my car in the nearest empty lot, sit in my car, and watch the sun go down. This was something I hadn't done in ages due to the fact that I was always busy with school or something else.
However, in that moment, I felt content. Content with myself and with my life. In that moment of silence and awareness, I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.
I felt grateful, knowing that I don't have it all, but I have a lot more than other less fortunate people.
I felt safe, knowing that at any moment my life could be taken away from me.
I felt content, knowing that, while there are many things that I would like to do in my life, I have the best family, the best friends, and a great man by my side.
And maybe while those things might not last forever... In that very moment... I knew they were there, and in that very moment, I realized:
Maybe life isn't about what you "could've" done or "should've" done. Maybe life isn't about how to make your life "easier" or "better".
Life, to me, is about finding that feeling that I had while watching the sunset in what you already have.
I watched that sunset from the empty lot near a Publix in suburban South Florida, not in some Italian mansion or French beach. It was right in my backyard, yet it was perfect.
Life is about making that most of you have.
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that was beautiful, you are a beautiful human to have realised that. I too always have a fascination with the sky, sun and moon. Thank you for reminding me that.
Replythank you for your kind words
Reply😉🌌🌊🌄
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