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Why is my mom becoming so mean to me? Does she hate me? Please how do I get her to stop?
3 years ago · 2 · Need Advice, +7
448
I'm homeschooled and at the beginning of this week, my mom said amongst other hurtful things that she wants me to hurry up and graduate so she can have a life. She said maybe when she's 80 she'll be able to start over and get a job that she'll enjoy because she hasn't done anything with her life except wipe my butt. She was angry that my room wasn't clean although I knew she was just releasing her stress and directing it to me. I let her keep going and didn't say a thing. The comments got meaner and meaner (I would never go to college..etc..thank God I can't remember the rest I don't want to) until thank God she finished and I still was silent. I took out the trash and I knew she was under a lot of stress this week so I prayed for her to feel better and I prayed for God to help me love her just like He loves me. I went back in I didn't expect an apology I don't think she realizes what she said or maybe I'm too emotional. I understand where she's coming from and I don't blame her for feeling that way I mean I would too. It's better to have that confirmation than to always wonder if I was ruining her life. I have ADHD. She's the one who took me to be diagnosed. She's the one who pressed me to take meds for it. Yet every day she says, again and again, you're not trying to focus. Every time I make a small mistake like start my first class 20min later or forget to take my pill or forget to take out the dishes or just simply not understand a math problem she simultaneously blames me for not trying and suggests we increase the dosage of meds," because she just can't do this anymore." I told her my heart already races with my current meds so an increase would probably give me an honest Sezer. I told her everybody has bad days and weeks it doesn't mean we need an increase yet. She responded with so what do you want me to do because I can't teach you. I said I understand I think it's just a bad week and we need to see how things play out for a bit and so she texts my psychiatrist that she thinks I need an increase. I made it clear that an increase would put my health at risk but she only seems to care that I'm easier for her. I told her the next day on my 10min break that I had a headache and needed to stop thinking for a bit so I can't talk about this right now. She said, "run away that's what you're good at." I have told her before how deep of insecurity that is to me that I "run away from my problems" I said it makes me feel so disgusting and worthless. But she said that to me not just once. Ouch, it hurts. She hurts my feelings daily and never apologizes and when I confront her she pretends not to remember what she just said to me and it makes me feel like I'm crazy. She'll try to tell me that I was the rude one who's bullying her even though she presses me and presses me until I have to cry from frustration so she'll stop. I'm genuinely wondering now if she wants me to cry? She's becoming slowly meaner and meaner like she's trying to see how far she can go or how honest she can be about how she really feels about me. It just hurts I gotta say. The worst part is she pretends nothing happened and my memory is terrible under stress so she succeeds. If I showed her a recording of our conversations she wouldn't apologize. I can't even just sit and take it because she'll keep going if you don't address it and she'll get meaner and meaner like she's gaining power from it. I wish she was on my side but I think she says stuff when she's feeling stressed which I can understand but then she never apologizes for it. It hurts more because she shows moments where she seems to genuinely love me and want's me to succeed but then she tears me down and it's confusing and scary and I want it to stop but she won't. I just want her to stop but she won't listen no matter how calmly or humbly I ask her.
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That's definitely gaslighting and emotional abuse. I'm so sorry you're going through that and you deserve so much better <3
ReplyOh my goodness, your right. I just looked up an article on this, and it described my mom to a T., So that's why I have trust issues and terrible anxiety..I started to think I was going insane or something...I guess somehow I can start to heal from here. Thank you so much for opening my eyes now I know I'm not crazy or defective thankyou so much!
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